The Expendables is a perfect example of how you can take up the biggest action stars like Stallone, Statham, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, (cameos by) Arnie and Bruce Willis and two (almost) hotties and still make like the worst movie possible. Its exactly what its meant to be. The 80s action movie. The problem is we aren't in the 80s anymore, where idea of an action movie was blood splattered all across, gory throat slits, 1:236 Hero:Men Killed ratio, Mindless Explosions etc etc. Offers absolutely nothing except.... okay.. nothing. Even the A-Team was better.Dear Sly, We have loved you so much in Rocky and Rambo series, butthat doesn't mean that we can love you over 60 doing actionsequenceslike a 20 something and romancing a 28 year old hottie, justbecauseyou are the producer (and the director). I mean for God's sake,she looks (and is more than) half your age. It was just gross to eventhink of, to be honest. Please Act your age.
The main plot is like any other TOLLYWOOD movie, that puts even Rajnikant to shame. Guys go on amission. One Guy falls in love with a girl there, who is left behind.The guy goes back with his other friends to rescue her. Villains,Villains' Chamchas, Hamming, Fire, People falling here and there,Blood, Blasts, Throats Slits, Hand Slits etc etc and the girl isrescued. The only difference being that the girl is (probably) lessthan the hero's daughters age. Its like Dharmendra teaming up withAmitabh Bachhan, Sunil Dutt, Shashi Kapoor, Shammi Kapoor, Pran etc torescue the love of his life (hmmm say Priyanka Chopra) from evil Ajitand (my favorite) Ranjeet. Even Priyanks is running full speed whenAjit is trying to take her away from Dharmendra.No wonder to be honest. If there is a choice between Stallone and the villain, any girl would choose the latter.
Most probably you would expect a mindless action movie, but the problem is that the action is also very 80s. There is nothing that impresses apart from a shot gun that blows (yes literally.. blows) you in half. The special effects are so bad, as if it was a animation project of an Arena Multimedia 2 month summer course's student. There is cacophony all over and you dont even seem to realize who is killing whom or who is blowing whose face/ body/helicopter/plane/drums/palace etc etc. Even the fights are so WWE kinds that they turn you off completely. I mean its full of those fake WWE locks and clotheslines and pearl drivers. I mean its ok that you have Steve Austin as a side villain but that doesn't mean you will choreograph the fights also like WWE.
Overall, the plot is pathetic, the action sequences are badly executed, funny lines are (except one or two) not funny, No chemistry between the lead pair or even the gang. There is absolutely nothing in the movie you might enjoy to be honest. Even Gisele Tittie ooooops... i mean Itie also stops being interesting after 10 minutes of screen time. Do not watch, even if you are paid to.
Feel-O-Meter :2/10