Star Wars: THE original epic

What makes Star Wars tick? There are so many movies and movie series, then what is in the george lucas' epic saga of the galaxy far far away that makes it different from all others and makes it what the others aren't. Afterall, there are series which have (arguably) made more money, have had better technology/special effects, had better story, had better characterization, had better performances, better heroes, better villains. If you are a performance oriented movies lover then Godfather scores. If you are the techie then LOTR and the Matrix. If you are the adventure kinds then the bonds and the bournes are there. If you are the fighter then the rambos and rockys are always there. Then What makes Star Wars so special?

Well, my take is that simply because it had All of the above and much more. The foremost thiing that i can think of is the story. Every movie (in its basic form) has this Good vs Evil story to begin with and then it moves further. Star Wars was no different. But to me, the humanness of the story is the biggest reason. More than anything else. The viewer just immerses in the story as if he is actually a part of the same. When in Empire Strikes back, Darth tells Luke, I am your father. You suddenly forget its a story and your heart just goes Ohhhh.. Now what!!! What would happen now. What would Luke do. Even in Return of the Jedi, when Luke confronts Darth Vader in the end, although you know that in the end Darth would turn good in the end, you still have your heart in your mouth, when those lightsabers collide. It is THEN, the movie stops being a technological show and you feel that a story is being told and the galaxy, the warships, the special effects or anything else is just ancillary to the basic plot of good vs evil and the human relationships in between.

The way Star Wars (although being a techie/special effects movie as far as the setting is concerned) deals with human relationships at the very basic level is portrayed in the most beautiful way possible. The Conflict between Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker as father-son is just the best portrayal that you could imagine. The father who once was a good man but now iis the warlord who is trying to kill the son and his friends (etc etc), but the son still feels that he has some good left in him.

On the relationships front only, there are these different friendships which bind the whole cast together. Starting from the phantom menace(i will go in the chronolical order of the story and not the release), we see that between obi wan and qui gon. Qui Gon and (young) Skywalker also have a similar friendship/chemistry despite their age gap. Even if you move further the friendship remains the essence of the series. Then between grown up Anakin and Obi Wan in the attack of the clones and Revenge of the Sith. Although Qui-Gon & Obi wan as well as Anakin and Obi Wan have this master disciple relationship, their friendship is still the more basic feeling that they feel for each other. Or for that matter, take Han Solo and Luke Skywalker, Han and Chewbaca or even (rather especially) R2D2 and C3PO. Despite them being robots, you can still feel that trust, care and friendship between the two. As if they are infact more human than the rest of the cast.

On the technology front also, i hear that LOTR was better or Matrix etc. But one thing we fail to realize is that when the first star wars was released. The wachowsky brotherw were yet to enter their teens. There was no internet. There were no movies(that i can remember) which had any special effects to talk about. First, the conceiving a story which was based on something hardly ever heard of and then thinking of ways to portray that onto the big screen was something. That too when most of us(who think that we have the authority to write anything on cinema :P ) were not even born. That was a feat in itself.

I dont quite know how much more i can go on and on and on, on each aspect of the movie. Infact i could just go on writing a note on each of the characters. On (arguably) the greatest movie villain of all times. On the adventure. On the Excitement. On the Chemistry. And a thousand other things. May be i am just an awestruck fan who thinks that the movie deals what cinema is supposed to do. Take you out of your daily miseries and tell you a story. A Story that will bind you down. A Story that stays with you even after you walk out of the cinema. A Story you would like to hear again and again no matter how many times you have heard it already. A Story that will take you to a wonderland where you have never been earlier. A story that lets you experience something you have never experienced earlier. Thats what Star Wars was. A Story that did all that. More than 3 Decades ago, still has the same effect even now and hopefully, will have the same effect on the generations to come. May the Force be with you. :)

George Screw Kas presents Star Whores. Starring Nude Skywanker, Hand Solo, Princess Ley Liya and Queen Abhi Dala

Aisha: Sucks :P

Aisha is Jane Austen's Emma Adaptation, which has almost nothing to offer except two (may be three) good songs, three or four funny dialogues at the interval of around 30 minutes each, pretty good performance by the debutant amrita puri. Thats it. Its a perfect example of how badly you can screw up with an amazing subject because the film is produced by the lead actor's father. Make it 20 mins shorter. Throw out Sonam Kapoor and still can be watchable. I hope somebody else makes it coz i really liked the story. Don't watch.

The biggest problem with the movie was sonam kapoor. I mean for god's sake. SHE CAN'T ACT. Just because your father is an actor does not mean you have the ability to carry off a movie on your (almost anorexic) shoulders. The funnily squeaky voice doesn't help either. Its irritating to say the least. Every time she is on screen, I was like damn man, isn't there a fast forward option here. The worst part is that SHE is all what the movie has. Every single scene, frame, she is there. There is no scene that i can remember where she wasnt present and that screwed the matters even worse.

I understand that the movie is called 'Aisha' and she is supposed to be there but i wonder if Anil Kapoor hadn't produced it, same would have been the case. It looks like another 'Karate Kid-2010' where will smith made the movie just as a birthday (or whatever) present to his son. Anil has done the same may be. Sonam: "booo hoo hoooo, Daddy i am not getting any movies". Daddy: "'Ohhhhh, my poor baby, you want a gift. Okay let me produce a movie for you. You will play the lead. No one else will have anything else to do. And out of your 469 scenes may be somebody might notice ONE scene and you get another movie" types. Gimme a break..

To be honest, I think rest all were fine. Amrita puri has delivered a cracker of a performance. She is sweet, cute, stupid, bubbly and much more. She is the thing to watch out for. Ira Dubey din't have much to do and she doesn't hurt the eye. Abhay Deol has not been given any space to perform. He comes, says a dialogue or too. Goes away. Comes back again and has been given the most stupid lines. Lisa Haydon and Arunoday Singh do what they are supposed to. They look hotttt. Period. Cyrus Sahukar is funny here and there. Anand Tiwari is decent and thats it. Its Amrita puri all the way as far as performance is concerned.

The story (although borrowed) is pretty cool and deserved a much better female lead to carry it off. I wonder if a Preity Zinta could have done what Sonam couldn't. Athough there are 4 lead pairs and A loves B, B loves C, C loves A, D loves B, E loves A, F loves E and blah blah blah. You stilll realize (in the first 30 mins only) that who would land up with whom. The loser lands up with the loser. The hottie with the Hottie. The middle class with middle class. Childhood friend with Child hood friend. and in such a scenario only the situations and timing could have saved the cause. Sadly, it doesn't.

There were two or three very funny dialogues but almost come at an interval of 30 minutes each and till that time you are bored as hell. Some of the lines specially towards the end are amazingly stupid and not funny. You are like, WTF man...Who says that.. types..

Rajshree Ojha tries her best to save the movie from Sonam Kapoor and dheeli script and i am sure given a better actor and script, she would deliver a much better movie. Amit Trivedi has done his magic again in the title track, gall mithi mithi bol and Shaam. Background score is pretty so so. Nothing Dev D like.

Overall : A Pretty promising subject screwed due to a bad script and pathetic performance by the lead actor. Remove Sonam and make a tighter script and remove all the loser-ish dialogues in the second half and could be watchable then. Give it a miss otherwise.

Feel-O-Meter : 3/10

PS: I think the title role should have been given to Amrita Puri and she could have taken the movie to a different level altogether. and yeah, iif you like sonam kapoor (which is unlikely) and can tolerate her funny voice, you can watch it once i guess. :)

PPS: Even in the image, Abhay's Expression is like 'Like seriously??? and you call yourself an Actor??? :P

PPPS: The title of the note is borrowed from a friend's status msg :)

Once Upon a time in Mumbai: Salim Javed ruled bollywood

The movie more than being set in the 70s, is actually made like a 70s movie. Every frame reminds you of Manmohan Desai, Prakash Mehra, Yash Chopra, Ramesh Sippy, Salim Javed, Amitabh Bachan, Deewar, Don, Shaan, Trishul, Sholay, Zanjeer, even Agneepath (though late 80s). It reminds so much of those dialogue heavy film making when the movies were not about the story but the dialogues. Most 70s movies you can relate to, will have atleast one dialogue you will remember. From 'Mere paas Maa hai' to 'Main aaj bhi faike huye paise nahi uthata'. From 'Tera kya hoga kaliya' to 'Vijay Dinanath Chauhan'. Once upon is exactly in the same league. It does not overdo it like Farah Khan to show that she loves the bollywood of that era. Rather it takes the same setting and makes the movie exactly as per the narrative. Stunning performances, Kick Ass dialogues, Decent Music, Controlled direction. (Almost) everything was good. A Definite watch if you haven't already.

I'll be honest, i didn't actually want to see this movie. The strongest reason being presence of Kangana Ranaut and Emraan Hashmi. If i could, i would throw these out of bollywood right now and forbid everyone to do any movie with them. I think they are among some of the worst actors we have here. But still, i was too intrigued by the Haji Mastaan parallels and wanted to see it. So reluctantly decided to watch it and promised to ignore the two (non)actors i just mentioned. And am i glad i did that or what?

The movie is set in the 70s (as already established earlier) and is pretty close to the underworld Don Haji Mastaan and to be (at that time) Don Dawood Ibrahim. Former makes the latter other only to be betrayed later. Its typical 70s cinema when the protagonist rises from the streets and is seen as a 'maseeha' in its locality. Too much information on the plot is neither relevant nor makes any difference.

The surprise package for me was Randeep hooda (who ironically is mentioned as a special appearance in the credits). To me, he was the pick of the lot. Yes, Even better than Ajay Devgan. May be because from Devgan you expect a certain standard while playing gangsta roles especially after company. Randeep had the most amazing dialogue delivery and i havent really heard such a deep voice in the younger actors since ages. His performance was exactly where it should be. Neither in the under acting nor in the hamming zone. Just at the line. Ajay (obviously) was amazing and actually adds to the dialogues through his delivery of content. Emraan Hashmi (to my surprise) was tolerable. (May be i liked the dialogues too much that i dint really bother about who was saying those :P). Kangana. . Prachi Desai dint have much to do anyways.

Another thing i (could have) liked was the background score had i not known the original tracks Pritam lifted it from. I was surprised how shamelessly the guy can pick up such popular soundtrack as Rock n Rolla and pass off as his own. I dont think he knows that the movie also released in the metros and there are people who follow hollywood. A couple of songs (original or otherwise) are hummable especially pee loon. Also, i dont think Pritam was able to give that retro feel that the narrative deserved.

Direction was crisp, although the first half seemed slightly longer. The movie dint actually move too much till the interval. I would have liked it more if the animosity between emraan and ajay should have been kept for some more time, given more time to cook and then the climax. Because of the stretched first half , the ending seemed abrupt and all too sudden.

Anyways, I hope a sequel is on the cards (PS: please dont keep emraan hashmi there)

Overall : A Definite watch to remind you of the 70s cinema

Feel-O-Meter: 8/10

PS: Do you think randeep portraying Emraan's role could have been taken it even further?? Just a thought :)

Dear FB, i don't want to be a Beta Tester. Beti Tester ka kaam ho to batana :P #hawwwcheapjoke

What did Sunanda tell Shashi?? Thoda aur Push kar :P

This rainy season Municipal Corporation of Delhi proudly brings to you. GUTTER WARS: REVENGE OF THE SHIT *releasing soon in a gutter near you :-P

Doesnt IT returns sound like a movie sequel? :-P

Thinks the all-out machine would be an amazing French kisser. ;) #getit

Braking News: Morgan freeman to start in nolan's next called INCESTION !!!! :-P

The kinda prices apple charges I think soon buyer will be called an iASS.

So what if 72 yr old Morgan decides to marry his 27 yr old step granddaughter. After all, he's a free man :-P

Dedication to ex-girlfriend:

Oh my love.. wherever I look, I see only you.
I wanna hold your hand forever, thats what I wanna do.
Oh my darling, I love you too because you're sweet, smart and funny.
But I'm gonna marry him coz he's got all the money
:-P

Braking News: Reckitt Benckiser buys Durex maker SSL.. To launch Antiseptic Condoms :-P

Braking news. Chak de sequel on the cards after kaushik resigns. SRK to take inspiration from his darr performance :-P

Udaan: Fly High

Udaan is one of those movies which leave you teary eyes at times and sends you rolling in your chair laughing on others. Its a movie which everyone can relate to at some point or the other. Its about growing up. Its about difference of opinions. Its about the endless arguments with parents. Its about freedom. Its about individuality. Its about finding your own place in the sun. Its a movie which is supposed to be felt rather than seen. It touches a chord somewhere and you come back home with a smile. Good performances. Amazing Writing. Terrific Background Score/Tracks. Gripping Direction. Its almost the most perfect movie this year. Must watch for everybody.

As a background, Rohan (Rajat Barmecha) is expelled from his school and is sent back to his hometown jamshedpur. Back home he meets his step brother for the first time. His father is a strict disciplinarian who wants him to study engineering and work in his factory part time, but Rohan wants to become a writer. Its about his free spirit being slowly poisoned and how and whether he will break these shackles and fly high, where he belongs.

The main reason why the movie strikes an instant chord with the audience is because of its simplicity, realism and honesty. What every movie tries to, Udaan is. Althought he plot may be seem to be an extension of taare zameen par or 3 idiots, but the treatment is fresh. The audience just forgets everything and just gets immersed in the narrative. I think the credit goes to Vikramaditya Motwane, who as most first time directors, does everything that he can to remain honest about the story and gives the narrative its due credit at its own pace.

Another good thing about the movie was that the characters look like characters and not actors reading their parts. Rajat Barmecha as the 17 year old, Ronit Roy as the disciplinarian father, Ram Kapoor as the loving uncle and even the 6 year old Aayan Barodia. Everyone delivers.

Amit Trivedi's music and background score is a treat to listen and take the narrative further. It actually feels like a character in the script rather than a being just another background score. The songs just enhance the overall treatment. The last sequence when Rohan runs from his dad and the background music there just takes the movie to another level altogether.

There was nothing negative about the movie but the engineering college senior plot doesn't really add any value to the narrative and the first half seemed slightly slow towards the interval. 15 Mins shorter would have made it even better. But Its brilliant nonetheless.

I just wish that bollywood just takes a new flight of refreshing new cinema from this movie and reaches greater heights. :)

Feel-O-Meter : 9/10

Inception: Dream On

Inception is the new science fiction-psychological thriller-drama which tests your brain till its limit. Its the kind of a movie wherein you have to be at the edge of your seat at all times. One, because you are so engrossed in the story telling and second, because if you dont you are going to miss the plot altogether. Beautiful Concept. Phenomenal Direction. Terrific Background Score. Amazing special Effects But Average Performances and Very Confusing in parts. First entrant to the oscars this year and a Definite watch if you are a 'heavy-brainy' movie lover.

Leonardo Di caprio is plays an extractor who can enter people's dreams and extract information. He is approached by Ken Watanabe to perform an exercise called inception (which is basically planting an idea in a person's mind in his dreams) on a rival corporate leader to split up his large empire, and in return he would make arrangements to allow leo to enter US again where he is wanted for the murder of his wife, who happens to still be in his subconscious and keeps creating troubles for him whenever he is in his or somebody else's dreams. Add to that a few side kicks who help Leo perform inception. Anything more about the plot and you will get confused already and the story itself would run into 2-3 notes.

The best and the worst part about the movie was its plot. It was sheer brilliant as a concept and full marks to Nolan to even be able to come out with such a thought. How he takes a simple thought and takes it to a different level altogether and all the viewer can do is to wonder how the hell did he even think of this. Loved the dream with in a dream and the concepts of slower passage of time as you travel deeper. Full marks there, but as i said, its the worst part about the movie as well. Sometimes you have to concentrate so much that even if you miss like 30 seconds you are left wondering as to what exactly happened. As one of the characters in the movie herself says 'Whose subconscious are we in exactly, right now!!!' Its great but the layers seem so deep that it might end up frustrating you if you miss certain points.

I wasn't really impressed in the performance department by anybody in particular actually. Most might not agree, but i again think Leonardo was a misfit for the character. His very similar role in shutter island didn't help the movie either. There was no surprise or oh thats great element in the performance front. I more mature actor (especially in terms of looks) could have taken the narrative even further i guess.

The special Effects and CGI graphics were actually a surprise coming from a Nolan movie to be honest. But they were nothing short of extraordinary. Every single CGI scene had that 'Oh Shit, Can you really do that !!' factor. Hans Zimmer's score is phenomenal to say the least and reminds of The Dark Knight all the time.

The Movie seemed 20 minutes too long and the skiing/chase sequences seemed more like a transporter/bond movie and could have been avoided altogether. Also it reminds you a lot of the matrix. But definitely one of the finest movies this year and establishes christopher nolan in the league of camerons, spielbergs and scorseses if not surpassing them. A must watch if you like the movies wherein you get to use your brain. A Definite Oscar entrant for Best Movie, Best Musical Score and Even Best Special Effects may be this year.

Feel-O-Meter :8/10

PS: I know a lot of you would have given it a 10/10 but i guess too many complications, leo's repetitive performance after shutter island, the length of the movie, the forced action/chase sequences, and unimpressive acting by the cast overall would force me to deduct 2 :)

Imagine... One of the greatest philosophers in human history is called 'Confucius' !!!! #getit

Braking News : Cristiano Ronaldo slaps k'naan after listening wavin' flag. He says,'Why wave the flag, when you can flag the pole' ;) #getit

I Hate Luv Storys : Break Up :(

The movie starts on a promising note and ends up being absolutely rubbish. There is nothing in the movie except a couple of good songs, one or two good one liners and Imran Khan's cuteness (that too only in the first 30 minutes or so). Actors are Pathetic. Script is below average. Narrative seems broken at quite a few places. Background score is irritating to say the least. Its not the 'Damn.. I am frustrated' material and gives you a few moments here and there, which make you smile but thats the problem the moments are just too 'few'. Can watch but get ready to be irritated through a considerable part.

(Obviously) The movie is about a guy who doenst believe in the concept of 'luv' and a girl who just loves the idea of being in love. They Meet, They Hate, Girl likes him, then falls in love, Guy says No, Misses her, Realizes, Comes back, Girl Says no, Some twist and turns and the mandatory filmy ending. Funny part is that the movie mocks the whole concept of love stories and the 'bollywood cliches', but then ends up being the same ghisa pita formula itself. (May be that was the idea as well, but honestly if you had to come back to square one. Then spending crores and making a movie justifying the love-ness in bollywood was not really worth it i guess).

Its a cute-ish movie in the first half but drags so long in the second half that you are like ,'oh come on ya.. ho gaya.. ab bass kar mere baap'. But no, it goes on and on.The first half an hour was indeed very enjoyable and i went 'Hey.. I like this movie ya.. Pretty cute'. And i think 'Nazar lag gayi'. The movie just goes off the track suddenly. The second half is torturous to say the least, as if the director finished the movie and realized 'Oh shit. Only one hour long. What to do now? and then stretches it to another hour and 15-20 minutes. It just goes absolutely rubbish post intermission. Its like a different movie altogether. As if the crew was not paid and they took out all the frustration in the latter half just to take revenge.

It tries to mock the YRF-KJO genre but remains one of those itself. The Director just seemed to have no clue, as what he was trying to make. A Love story, Comedy, Drama, Parody and just leaves the script run amok without any sense of direction or purpose. Another example of trying to do too much and achieving nothing.

NONE of the actors were close to being 'average'. Almost everybody sucked. Some sucked bad. Others worse. The only saving grace(a bit) was Imran Khan, in the first half. He looks cute and performs sweet (and ya.. thats about it). Sonam Kapoor is anyways as irritating as her voice. Others are not even worth mentioning here. One of the worst 'complete package non-performance' this year. I think mis-casting was one of the prime reasons for its being a below average movie. I think the movie was not as bad as it turned out to be. Just replace everybody (including imran to ranbir) and it could have been an average one. Some lines were funny but they were delivered so bad that the jokes committed suicide

The thing that i liked about the movie was its Art direction, (to some extent) costumes design and (a much better) cinematography. Some of the dark shots taken under a spotlight were damn neat. But i dont really think these things can pull the audience to the theaters.

Overall : The most disappointing overhyped movie of the year so far. Its not bad but just not good enough. Can watch if have free time and tickets given that there is nothing else which is ON right now. But i suggest you leave after intermission.

Feel-O-Meter : 4/10

The A Team: B Grade

The movie is nothing but nonsensical high on adrenaline low on everything else bull shit. The only thing worth going for are two (at best three) innovative action sequences done on a very huge scale. Rest all is.... hmmmm... actually nothing even mentioning. If you are a hard core action fan and has absolutely nothing to do and have free tickets, you may go and watch it. Else, Go watch Iron Man on DVD instead.

To be honest, i dont think that the story even matters here. So wont even bother giving details. Well lets just say, its about 4 army rangers (who incidentally who have stripped off their ranks and have put in jail through a conspiracy. And in full bollywood style, they are in the avenge mode. Then some action. Then some more action and in the end, there is some enormous amount of unrequired large scale action.

Okay, (possibly) for the first time i dont have anything to say about a movie. Simply because i dont even remember what happened or i was just too bored between the action sequences and did not bother to even pay attention. You might find it surprising but Jessica Beil couldnt help either.

But, i must praise the action sequences. The scale and the canvas was as huge as it can get. Some of the sequences were pretty novel too. Especially two sequences, one with the tank flying experience and the last one with the dock yard explosions. Those two sequences were like.. wow..

Overall : Must Avoid. If you are not a die hard action movies fan and can survive two long hours for two 5 min sequences.

Feel-O-Meter : 3/10 (thats also pretty high i guess)

PS: Yes, Even i am amazed at the length of the review, but honestly, dont have anything to say at all.

Toy Story 3 : Toys R Us

The movie is a treat to watch. It manages that fine balance of emotions, adventure and humour in the most perfect way possible. You actually start feeling for the toys as if you are living their lives. Watch Toy Story and you will think twice before throwing away your old toys. It is like melted butter, have no hiccups anywhere and is as smooth as a movie can be. There are no awkward sequences filled to increase the length or anything else. In the end it just leaves you with a 'happy' feeling out of the cinema hall. Must Watch (even for those who havent seen the earlier two installments).

The movie is about friendship and togetherness. Andy is 17 years old and is off to college now. The Toys are scared that they might be thrown away now since he might not love them anymore. Accidentally, the toys land up in a day care center, which is ruled by the cutest teddy bear that you can imagine along with the sweetest 2 year old kid (doll) that you can find. The center is is like the best place on earth they could have hoped for. But then, if all is well, then there is no point making a movie right? The movie takes its twists and turns, full of adventures and misadventures and an amazingly powerful emotional ending that may even leave you teary eyed, if you get involved in the movie.

The narrative is grippy, the voices are superb, the animation is neat, the characters (though are toys) are believable. You even start relating to the characters' dreams and despairs as the movie progresses. There is this edge of the seat excitement where its required. The best part is that the movie doesnt try to do anything special. It is as smooth as a movie can get. There are no special sequences which could divide the movie in parts. It IS indeed a story as a whole rather than a colleciton of some good and some not so good scenes. Almost nowhere in the movie you feel like getting up and going for a leak or popcorn.

I think the only thing which i wished was better, was the quality of 3 D effects. I mean to be honest, there was absolutely no 3 D feeling in almost every sequence. It just looked like a normal 2 D animation movie but less bright and vibrant because of the black 3 D glasses. I would suggest you to watch it in 2 D only.

Overall: Absolute must watch if you are the animation movies kinds, even if you havent seen the earlier two installments. I hadn't either but still absolutely enjoyed it to the core.

Feel-O-Meter : 8/10

As a principle,I never wish any guy friend 'good night sleep tight' ;-)

Robin Hood : is not Gladiator

The movie was pretty good as expected but the only problem was that it was only good. I mean with Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe you dont expected 'good', you expect much better. Its just not the DVD you would want to buy as soon as its out. You would most probably prefer to watch it on HBO. The movie had everything working for it but just misses out something which just makes it fall short of a great one. Its just not special enough. Good Cast. Good Performances. Good Direction. Good Cinematography. Good Art Direction. Good Background Score. Good Scipt. Everything was Good. Just 'Good'. There were no complaints in any of the departments from my side except that it felt a bit longish. About 20 mins shorter and it could be every more gripping. Not a 'Must Watch' but surely worth a 'One time watch'.

Quite Unexpectedly, the movie is NOT about Robin Hood's adventures. Its more like a prequel. It tells the story of him before he became the outlaw, which gives me a feeling that it could be a series planned already and this was the first instalment just to gauge ground. Its about how robin longstride became robin hood. The story has no 'oh my god' moments or surprises, but still i would refrain from mentioning anything about it.

The performances are very grippy and solid. Russell crowe is phenomenal as always. Cate Blanchett is okay too. Mark Strong is pretty good in his villainous avatar. Overall, no where you feel uncomfortable and can relate to the actors as characters. Another thing that i liked about the movie was its lack of special effects and Gore. I mean Ridley could have spilled blood all over, slicing people in half with swords or cut throats here and there, but he doesnt do it. There is no 'extra' effort in making it disgusting or painful to watch. The 'Story' matters not the 'Action'

The best thing about the movie was to do with its look, sound and feel. Locations, Art direction, Background Score and cinematography are all top notch. You feel like you are watching an A Grade hollywood flick. Especially the wide angles from the sky give you that grand feel while watching and background score makes it even grander. Definite thumbs up there.

Overall : A Damn Good movie and definitely one time watch, and you won't come back home irritated (read: raavan). If you have to choose a movie to watch this week (or next). This is the one.

Feel-O-Meter : 7/10

The Karate Kid : Needs to Grow up..

There is absolutely nothing new in the movie. As you already would be aware, its about a kid who has had absolutely no prior training in karate, trying to learn it from his master. The training is pretty boring. The fights are pretty boring. The love angle seems too forced. It just doesnt seem to connect at any level possible. The worst part is that the 'Kids' seem more grown up than the grown ups themselves. There is too much of 'maturity ' in the way they carry themselves. They look like actors playing their parts and not characters. Give it a miss

The only (i guess) new angle to it is that the kid is african american rather than chinese. He has to shift to China since her mother is transferred. Then Bollywood kicks in, as he falls in love (yes.. there is a love story with a 12 year old Black Boy and a Chinese Girl). Then there are villains (all not even teenagers) who kick his butt and in order to save his ass, he has to participate in a karate tournament. And (obviously) Jackie Chan trains him and the kid wins the tournament in the end.

The movie failed at multiple levels for me. As already established, the Kids dont seem like Kids. It looks like a high school/college love story. There is too much 'No mercy' for kids in their pre teens. The fights seem to violent. The tournament itself, doesnt look like a kids' tournament. It looks like a bloody royal rumble or a world heavyweight boxing championship. The (12 year old) kids are out their to break each others' legs or necks with their deadly moves and the trainers ask them for 'No Mercy'. Even the Moms are cheering!!!

The training seems too 'Rocky Balboa-ish', with the kid flexing his biceps while training. Also, there was no 'training' per se. After a (not so much of a) routine for a couple of days, suddenly the kid learns karate with in 30 seconds or so. And then (obviously) he beats up the 'trained' kids one by one in the tournament. Too much to achieve with too little training it seems. And thus, movie loses its 'Oh.. It is possible'-ness.


Also, when the movie has 'Karate' in its title. You expect some karate in the movie and not a 10 min sequence at the end filled with 'ropey antics'. There was too little karate for a karate movie. There are no emotional moments. No Ohh poor kid scenes. Absolutely nothing that one might remember after one comes out of the hall.

Jackie Chan should stick to what he does best. Doing unbelievable non traditional martial arts stunts, which make you go, 'Ohhhh.. How did he do it?' rather than acting like a drunkard trying to (yes, only trying to) teach karate to a 12 year old kid.

Overall : An absolute failure at every level. Do NOT watch

Feel-O-Meter :2/10

Q. Why does simpoo respect zinedin zidane so much?
A. Coz he thought he was his zizou ;-)

WTF!!! And all those years i thought STANDARD was a symptom for breast cancer.. #useyourbrainspj

Raavan: Good Cause Gone Evil

I write this review with utter disappointment and despair. I am more sad than frustrated or irritated. Cant believe that a film maker like Mani Ratnam could make such a movie. Infact, when i heard from so many people thats its pretty bad, i assumed that they would not have understood the plot and Mani would have made it too 'Interpretative'. But sadly i annoucne, that the movie is just one of the worst i have seen in recent times. It is just plain boring.

It had the most promising Storyline on paper, but unfortunately it stayed only on paper. The execution was as bad as it could have got. Actors are hamming to the core. Dialogues are pathetic. Narrative is slow. Music is as if Rahman just went to some old box of music sheets and gave it to Mani Ratnam as he was too busy composing for some international project. Background score is cacophonous to say the least. The only redeeming factor was excellent cinematography by Santosh Sivan, a few interpratations of Ramayana which were very thoughtful and... hmmm.. nothing else actually.

The plot itself was the backbone of the film. Imagine taking Ramayana and giving the 'Good vs Evil' a whole new interpretation. According to me, the central theme was 'Good is Who does Good' and nothing can be described in Good vs Evil just by itself. In the movie Raavan doesn't kill anybody in the movie who is not a policeman. He even leaves Ram and Laxman Alive when he gets his chance as well. But Ram uses Sita as a tool to kill Raavan. How Ram can become Ravana and how Ravana can be a hero just by their deeds. Phenomenal Storyline but the execution screwed it all.

One problem that i found was with the marketing, even the name of the film itself. When you name a movie 'Raavan' you already disclose every single thing about the plot and the audience is never interested in the story because they already know about it. Its a different high altogether when you go to the cinema hall and then 'decode' the inferences to the epic. Thats what raajneeti did amazingly well. You dint know it was based on mahabharata but as you went ahead in the movie, you started drawing parallels and had that 'ohhhh.. thats a nice way of putting things in perspective' expression. It would have been much more interesting had he not disclosed that it was based on ramayana. Then, 'finding' out that its based on the epic would be much more exciting and gripping. The characters like ram, sita, raavan, hanuman, laxman, supranakha,vibheeshana would make more sense.

As already established, it was amazingly written on paper in terms of giving a new dimension to the epic's interpretation. I just loved the parallels that mani drew with laxman cutting supranakha's nose and in the movie it is done through her rape. Even in hindi Naak Katnaa is equivalent to rape/pre marital sex itself. I think that was amazingly put across but such instances were too few to quote.

I just wish that movie is made again without the 'Stars'. Abhishek bacchan was the worst of the lot. He hams more than KRK. Has no idea what is doing and why. Just flexing his facial expressions and doing a nana patekar here and there. Aishwarya is doing nothing but flaunting her cleavage in skimpy and amazingly tight blouses. I wonder how she was breathing. (PS : Though i am not complaining here ;D ) Govinda was pretty sweet in his hanuman portrayal. Rest nobody had anything to do anyways.

Music (specially background score) was Cacophonous to say the least. God knows why 'Ranjha Ranjha' started playing in Rekha Bhardwaj's spooky tone in one of the sequences which was irritating to say the least. Suddenly Ganesh Acharya comes in the middle of a song sequence. There was no head and tail with any song what so ever. They were just there coz film maker thought I have to have a few songs if i am paying rahman for the job.

Overall: One of the most disappointing movies in recent times. I still cant believe maniratnam screwed such a great story. I just wish somebody makes it again with no 'stars'.

Feel-o-Meter : 4 (which i think is on the higher side, but 2 each for a couple of 'interpretations' in the narrative were very thoughtful and good cinematography)

And i thought BCC was two hindi gaalis spoken in quick succession !

If you have the will, you will..

WTF!!! The song Bheegi Si Bhaagi Si is NOT inspired from a hidden cam scandal !!!! like seriously???

Shutter Island : Scorsese Meets Shyamalan

The movie is an absolute edge of the seat stuff. From the very first scene when leonardo enters the shutter island, you can't even think of taking a call (boss' or natures included) and you just want to remain seated and witness scorsese's brilliance. Its a psychological blink and you miss thriller. Every 10 minutes you have a different question in mind. Whether this is happening or that? Sometimes you even start to feel schizophrenic yourself. Sometimes you feel its a thriller, Others it seems like a horror flick. But then, you don't expect the master to do a horror flick, right. The best part is its unpredictability. The screenplay is just amazing. Must Watch at any cost.


Well, Almost throughout the movie i kept thinking about M. Knight Shyamalan style of psychological thriller types movie making. It was as if the movie was not by Scorsese but by him. It was the same creepy feeling, the same 'I see Dead people' kinda feel to it. And it works amazingly well.

The only problem about this review is that i cannot divulge any details with respect to the storyline or else it'll be a spoiler. And the flip side is no matter how much i praise this movie, the review will not give you 'the feel' that the movie will deliver. The movie is about a mental institution headed by Dr Cawley (Ben Kingsley) where prisoners are sent to for treatment, at a secluded island. Edward Daniels (Leo), a US marshall comes to investigate the case of a patient who suddenly disappears from her locked room. Edward has his own history of being a US soldier in germany during second world war and a wife who died because a fire broke out in his house. To top that, Edward thinks that the institution itself could be practicing human experiments and the patients are the just the guinea pigs for those experiments. The movie goes back and forth from one story to the other layer by layer and the ending is just crazy (in a good way)

The Score by Gustav Mahler reminded me a lot of the great Hans Zimmer and i dont think i need to say anything more. It was just plain brilliant. It just took the movie to a different level altogether. It just sends chills through your spine in every single shot. The cinematography with all those grey tones was fabulous. The art direction and the sets were top of the line as well.

Overall an absolute cracker and a must must watch.

Feel-O-Meter : 9/10 (I know i havent said anything bad about it, then why 1 point less?? check out the PS note)

PS: I just wish that in place of Leonardo, the movie had Russell Crowe (even Bruce Willis would do). It would have taken the movie in a different trajectory altogether. Leo was not bad but he is just not as brilliant an actor to take the load of such a heavy script. His main problem is his looks. No matter how hard you try, you cannot take out 'Titanic' out of him. Just imagine Russell Crowe in the last couple of sequences in the movie while watching and you'll know what i mean. :)

Raajneeti: Absolutely Kick Ass

Raajneeti is definitely the film of the year (in the first six months of 2010) for me. It is an absolutely intense political drama which derives its roots from mahabharata. Prakash Jha imports the plot to the current times, removes all the unnecessary details, packages it with pretty saving grace performance by the 'non actors' some intense performances by the 'actors' and you get a cracker of a movie. It is in the same league as his earlier films like Apaharan and Gangajal but would be much more successful than the others because of its ensemble cast who can draw the 'non serious' movie going crowd as well. Dont miss it no matter what.

The movie (as already described) take its inspiration from the Mahabharata and Jha makes its own improvisations in the plot for commercial fitment and sets it in Madhya Pradesh (and not Bihar as in the earlier movies). Add to that an NRI 'kid of the family' Ranbir who comes for a vacation and gets absorbed in the violence and power politics (Think Virasat, Sarkaar etc). The cousin, Manoj Bajpai, wants to be the CM at any cost and is supported by Ajay Devgan. The movie leaps forward through a whole series of events through which every half an hour the power pendulum keeps swinging from one side to the other. The story is unidimensional but the screenplay backed by some powerful performances takes it to another level. For me, the interpretation of mahabharata and setting the characters in today's time was an awesome thought and executed beautifully.

Apart from a very gripping screenplay, the soul of the movie lies in the power packed performances by (almost) all the actors. Saying anything about Nana Patekar's performance is like belittling him. He is the choice of the lot and even when he is not delivering his lines, just his screen presence is enough. Next in line is Manoj Bajpai. Man, is he good or is he phenomenal. He plays the sidelined, power hungry, jealous cousin in a way only he could have. He has this 'feel' around the character that can only be felt and not described. I think its his best after Satya. No complaints from Ajay Devgan. I think he proves the 'Its all in the eyes' theory to the core. Ranbir does a very fair job knowing his acting limitations and sticking to them. It shows the maturity that he is gathering as an actor. The non-actors (Arjun Rampal and Katrina Kaif) are tolerable as well and you dont feel uncomfortable when they are on screen.

Overall : The first (i guess) Mahabharata improvisation till date. Definitely the best movie so far this year and a must watch.

Feel-O-Meter: 9/10

PS: I just wish they could cast somebody place of Arjun Rampal (who looks good till the time he doesnt open his mouth) and also the case with Katrina Kaif (Yes that irritating tooti footi Hindi is still as bad as earlier). and ya, it is NOT inspired from the Gandhi family.

What??? 'Faggot' is NOT a slang for Smokers??? like seriously??? ;)

After your third relationship, Can you call the first one your 'Triple X'

Thinks the expression should not be dead tired but f**k tired. For obv reasons..

As a principle,I never wish any guy friend 'good night sleep tight' ;-)

Pathshala : Fail :(

The movie is so bad that i dont even feel like writing the review. It was like the most amazing and noble idea which got screwed because everything just went too bad. I even started wondering that how in the world, can every department fail such synchronistically. Director almost forgot what he was trying to make. Actors were either hamming or were trying to desperate to look cute or most of the times had no idea what were they doing. Script had like the worst written scenes. Story just kept moving without having any sense of direction or idea. Songs (except one which is ammmazing to say the least) were as bad as they come. Half way in the movie i lost interest as well as the plot. I was hardly bothered about what was happening on screen and was chit chatting with my friend. All in all, not at all worth your time even if you are like the wella-est person at the weekend.

After i heard the bekaraar song and heard about the plot, i was pretty excited to watch this movie. The movie is (obviously) about a school, its principal (and his principles), teachers, students and its trustees. It is (supposed) to talk about the recent branding and commercialization of education/schools in the recent past, where in the parents are least bothered about the education system in a particular school and are rather concerned about the brand name. This was the basic premise, but the director in order to make sure that it appeals to a larger set of audience, zabardastily introduced a number of different sub plots like use of children in reality shows etc. The movie just lost its main plot and i somehow got lost in the middle as to what was the point it was trying to make. I think it was one of the better storylines in recent times (at least on paper) and could have done wonders if made correctly. It had all the right ingredients present. Everybody wants to go back to those school days but it just did not hit at the right spot at all.

Actors (apart from Nana Patekar) were as bad as they are supposed to be, given their (supposed) acting prowess! Shahid Kapoor was as usual his stone faced best. Ayesha Takia did not have anything to do in the movie anyways. The Kids were too over exposed already on television, so they already have lost the innocence in their performances. The grown up kids look like wannabe models (and some of them already are as well ). Nana Patekar delivers a very powerful speech in the end (Just like Amitabh Bachan did in Rann) which according to me was the only good thing about the movie. And i doubt you would want to spend more than 2 hours and a couple of hundred rupees to watch a two minute monologue.

Even on the production front, i think it was among some of the worst movies in recent times. Even the make up was so pathetic that it looked like a 90s TV serial with characters wearing fake moustaches (Honeslty speaking, we used to have better make up even in my inter collegiate theater days). A kid whose face is supposed to look like its burnt or damanged, looks as if there is a black chewing gum stuck on his face. Just the worst ever.

Positives: One song(which is amazingly written, composed and sung but picturized in the worst possible way) and a 2 minute monologue by Nana Patekar.

Negative : Everything else.

Overall: The movie was a disappointment on all front for me. Don't watch even if you have all the time and free tickets

Feel-O-Meter: 2/10

PS: Funny it is that i started the review by writing that i do not even want to write the review and still managed to write so many negatives about the movie ;)

The only sona i m gonna get on this akshay tritiya is on my bed :(

Badmaash Company: Average Returns

The movie is one of those 'average' movies which neither leave you excited nor complaining about anything. Its just a plain simple movie which can easily ignore and also not mind watching it. There is almost nothing in the movie which makes it special but you would not leave it in the middle too. It just goes on at its pace without any hiccups for a pretty good time, then comes a small preachy bit which irritates you and then comes back on track for the happy ending.

The movie is about friendship and 'lets get rich' quick mentality. Its set in mid 90s and unfolds in India and US in first and second half respectively. The friends want to make some quick bucks and they start using the customs Duty regime in India in a very cunning and con-ning way. The movie then moves to US with similar tricks. Then comes the preachy 'oh we are friends', 'lets forget rich and get respected', 'i love my family (and india)' stuff, and then it ends with a cunning but not con-ning way of making money with a happily ever after K3G types ending.

All the actors were pretty decent and i never felt uncomfortable about anybody's performance. Infact, i really liked Chang (Yes, the guy from Indian Idol)'s act. He was pretty smooth. Rest all were decent and there were no hiccups anywhere (although a couple of smooches were definitely not required) And ya jfyi, Anushka Sharma is just not hot no matter how low her tops or how high her skirt is.

The title track is pretty groovy and your shoulders just start moving when you hear it. There were a couple of 'what!!! is that really a song' kinda crappy songs too which i am sure you will ignore. Baaki, nothing great to write about anywhere else.

Overall : I'm sure you are not dying to watch it anyways but if you get cheap tickets and have time, you will not get too bored either

Feel-O-Meter : 5/10

Iron Man 2 : Loha Garam hai.

For me, Iron Man has never been anything to do with the hi tech gadgets or kick ass action. For me, It has always been about Robert Downey Jr's portrayal of Witty, Flambuoyant and not to mention Self Obsessed Tony Stark. I think Tony Stark it the super hero every one wants to see. Who doesn't live behind curtains. Who doesn't have anything to hide. Who wants the world to know that 'He' is the reason why every one can feel safe. now THATs what i call a super hero. Superman, Batman and the other lot. Take a hike, coz Iron Man is back with his 'F**k Off' attitude. The best part about the movie is that you want Downey to be in his real Tony Stark mode more than the Iron Man Avatar.

The movie is an absolute cracker with loads of style, attitude and amazing soundtrack. No matter how many times you have heard Highway to Hell, it still does something to you in the end credits. This is not your run off the mill super hero movie where the larger than life villain is trying to end the world and the superhero is the only hope the world has. Here, the villain is as much flesh and blood as the Super Hero himself and THATs what makes it different coz no matter how unbelievable all that gadgetery might look it, it still feels believable coz of the 'human' (not in a senti way) touch that Downey gives it to the character. He is just not your regular 'good' man. He is just an eccentric billionaire who also likes to tackle the bad guys to (may be) boost his ego even further. Ironically, in the very first sequence Tony says, "Please, Its not about Me" and you know it IS only about him and still love it.

The movie is about a certain Ivan Vanko (Mickey Rourke) who wants to destroy Iron Man's superhero image publically. "If you could make God bleed, people will cease to believe in Him", he says. The reason is apparently coz his father had some problem with Tony's Father (or whatever). And what the heck, who cares about the plot in superhero movies anyways. The background Score is Amazing. Special Effects are kick ass. The Introduction of the other Characters played by the likes of Scarlett Johansson, Denzel Washington, Don Cheadle adds up to the franchisee. In terms of performance, (obviously) Robert Downey Jr steals the show from the very first shot. But Others were equally good too. Infact Sam Rockwell did a pretty neat job in his not so elaborate stark's rival hammer role.

Overall : A Kick Ass Super Hero Movie which is way more than the gadgets and the super powers. Watch it for Robert Downey Jr.

Feel-O-Meter: 9/10

Nothing seemed right & u wer al alone.
Everything looked dark & d hapines ws al gone.
Somethin ws mising, Somethin ws not there.
Things were not great & life just dint seem fair.
A door opened & the room was filled with light.
A silhouette walked in & everything became alright.
Everything just changed in an instant, i have no idea how.
Wish time stops here coz i want to live in this moment right now

Fly me to the Moon : Takes off and then goes down

3 Flies looking for an adventure and sneak into Apollo 11 when the first manned flight to the moon takes off. Looks Promising right?. The problem was that the 'adventure' was not adventurous enough. The 3 D graphics are superb to the say the least but lack of 'ohhh shit' scenes just completely washed that out. You just dont feel that 'edge of the seat' excitement and that screwed a perfect idea and the movie went down the drain (well almost)

The movie had a fantastic storyline. But thats all it had. You keep thinking that something would happen now and keep hoping that it happens but it doesn't. And since the director had no idea how to stretch this one sentence story further. He adds some russian flies who are planning to sabotage the US mission and some US flies who are trying to stop them from doing so, which could have worked only if they had some real sense of 'oh my god' moments or even some 'wise cracks'. But that was not the case.

The reason why people go and watch animation movies is that they take you away from the real world into a world of possibilities. Where things which cannot take place do take place. A world of impossible-ism and making it possible. The ideation part was good. The characters on paper were cute as well. But the execution (and i repeat 3d was crazily kick ass) was not too great.

The director just didn't know how to take it forward. I am sure the moon mission in itself would have been pretty adventurous with a lot of ups and down in reality. Rather than exagerating those moments, the movie just makes it a too-simple a hitch ride. The flies just get in, reach the moon, wave and come back. Absolutely no adventurous. No breath taking moments. No 'oh shit they are gonna get killed' scenes. Absolutely nothing.

The only positive thing that bound me was Absolutely Stunning 3D effects. If you have seen Avatar, Clash of the Titans in 3D. Do go and watch this and THEN you shall realize how pathetic they looked in 3D if you compare with Fly me to the moon. The flies are almost at your nose especially in the first 2-3 sequences and that sets the pace for the movie. Just lack of direction and screenplay couldnot keep up with the technology or else it could have been an amazing movie after Up.

Feel-O-Meter: 4/10

Overall : Take your kids if you have promised them to show some movie this weekend or if you want to experience some REAL 3 D

PS: Just noticed that movie was released in US in Aug 2008 and was the first animation 3D movie. The Effects seem even more impressive now.

Housefull : What else do you expect

Before the movie begins, Sajid Khan declares that the movie is a tribute to the cinema of prakash mehra, hrishikesh mukherjee and the like. It is the way he perceives cinema as.. Entertainment. Which is like a disclaimer of sorts that there is not going to be anything in the movie but you are going to leave the cinema hall entertained. Now how the 'entertainment' is going to come is a different question altogether. May be his definition of entertainment means slapstick, people hitting each other for no reason, women jumping from windows, confusion all over, queen elizabeth speaking marathi, Double meaning dialogues, The done to death (male) Kantaben sequence and yeah forgot to mention. If everything fails, try laughing gas.

This review is almost not required to even state which so obvious.All of you understand this BEFORE watching the movie and i am just writing exactly the same AFTER watching it. And yes, let me make it very clear that i am not criticizing the movie in anyway. Any movie i go to, i have an expectation in my mind as to what is the reason for me to watch this movie. That's the reason i enjoy DD-Govinda genre like nuts. Same is the case with housefull. (Obviously) you know what to expect from the movie even if the disclaimer/tribute was not even there. You know it is going to be a stupid movie which will not make any sense what so ever. And all the things mentioned earlier are expected to happen. The difference is if even the most lame jokes are still able to tickle your funny bone or not. In this case, Its somewhere in the middle. Some of the jokes, scenes are irritating as hell but some are damn funny too and you almost go ROFL.

The story i dont think is even remotely relevant so i am not going to waste a sentence on that. It starts in a very irritating fashion, then goes further with some funny sequences and ends in a pathetic fashion almost as if the director was like, 'oh shit, how do i end it now'. Oh yeah, why not try laughing gas. I am going to drive home a senti point but wait a minute, its a funny movie so all actors should laugh. Voila.. Laughing Gas!!!!

And yes, since its a commercial movie with (almost) A list actors. Lets throw in some exotic locations, foot tapping-club type music, a remixed item song. and i forgot, there are 3 damn hot actresses too, so throw in some bikini/lingerie, coming out of ocean, cleavage revealing shots and we have loads for the masses to ogle at. Not to mention that it lifts off a number of scenes from hollywood movies like night at the museum, meet the fockers, bollywood movies like kal ho na ho, and also some south indian movie which my friend told me about.

Actors (i am actually confused if i should even use that term though) do what they are supposed to. Akshay, Riteish try their best (btw, you already know that this is the best that they can do, so you dont complain). Girls make the guys go all wide eyed with their already described talent. Boman Irani for me is the one whom i liked the most and Arjun Rampal does his 'wooden' act to perfection as always.

Feel-O-Meter: 6/10 (You might think its a bit on the higher side, but theek hai yaar, chalta hai)

Overall: (Again, Obviously) Its one of those stupid movies you want to watch just to forget what is going on in your life. You watch it, Keep criticizing it all through that how dumb this movie is, but still enjoy it.

No you pervert. SOS doesnt stand for Spit Or Swallow !!!!!

Wonder if Ricky Martin, George Michael and Elton John are Homo-genius

Did mandakini drink limca before ram teri ganga maili???? ;)

You're driving at ease and a hot babe zooms past.
You also speed up and start driving really fast.
You push down the accelerator and forget there's a pedal for brake.
Somehow, before the next redlight you just manage to overtake.
Your hand reaches for your hair and you start giving a 'cool' pose.
You look in the rearview mirror and she starts picking her nose

Cant we ask Pollard to play from India in the T20 world cup??
Can't he marry say Karan Johar and become an Indian citizen

Braking News: Pepsi ropes in unemployed Pug from Hutch and launches new tagline 'Pepsi: Youngistan ka BOW'

Typical Facebook Profiles

A Few of the typical Facebook Profiles that i have noticed in the past one year. If at anypoint you think that i had you in mind while writing any of these. You are right. Tag your friends and let them wonder what profile they fit into ;)

Mush Maniacs: Girls (sometimes guys too) who would put keep putting those 101 love quotes from the Internet mostly depressing. I am glad you are there. You are the best thing happened to me. There is someone special someone for you types. Typically they will tell the whole world who their boyfriend/girlfriend is through all those Heart signs,




Desperate Dickheads: Poor Guys who have never been able to lay their hand (both literally and figuratively) on a Gal and will keep copying Double Meaning Quotes from Internet to attract some attention (in any form good or bad) so that atleast somebody notices. There is another High Un-Yielding Variety of this type, which would generally have 'I Hate Love' updates. Love is for losers. I am better off being single. No Time for Love. But one look at the profile pic and you know you have seen one. Typical Fan Pages : Proud to be Single types.

I, Me, Myself: Typically this type will have more than 1000 photographs in 20 + albums whose titles are generally on the lines of Random Stuff, Just another Day Shopping, Me and My Friends, Cafe Coffee Day. There would be more than 100 profile pictures and 90 of them will be self clicked with a camera phone and occassionally with another friend in the frame. The location generally would be a coffee shop or can even reach Mall Washrooms (especially if girls). The Status updates would generally be 'Attitude' Quotes. I don give a f*ck about your existence. Typical Fan pages include I was not placed on earth to please you. Games Played : Society or Sorority Life

I am so glad i got a girlfriend(somehow): Another variant of the Mush Maniacs but with the profile pic. Will have 20 albums posing with girlfriend in Malls, Cars, Markets.(Thank God no Loos here). The profile pic will typically be a close up self clicked shot with camera phone held high showing the biggest achievement of his life being held from behind almost as if she is gonna run away ;)

Everyone else is a loser: Slightly different from the 'I-Me-Myself' type. Typically they will never 'like' any update but always try to find flaws in whatever is written. Next day you could have a diametrically opposite update but still he will find some counter argument there too. More often than not, they will never post something themselves but will just comment on every single update from others'. The 'Nay Sayers', 'System Sucks', 'India is going to the Dogs' are some cross breeds of the same type.

Super Stalkers: They have not had a single status update in the past 3 years. Would not playa any game. Will not do anything. Will not even have a profile picture. Generally are single and Dont go out at the weekend. Will just stay back. Log on early morning and will only browse through your updates (or pictures if you are a girl). They will know exactly what is going on in your life. They might not know which company you are working for but they will surely know how many girlfriends you have had in the past 3 years or anything you bought in the last one month.

Farmville Fools: NO.. Absolutely NO updates apart from 'I need a . Please send' types. Will just log in in the morning. Sit in the Chat window for the whole day. Keep 'Farming'. Will never comment on anybody's status. Will not bother about whats happening around. Only two albums in the profile. One called Profile pictures which has ONE picture since the past 2 years and Other 'Farmville photos' updated almost every month. The profile pic can also have a shot of the farm sometimes. Apologies for using Fools but i am sure its better than 'F*ckers and you know i hate that game ;) (PS: it includes the Mafia Wars too)

Sports Freaks: The Status Msgs are filled with the latest score updates from EPL to IPL. Formula 1 to International Kabaddi World Cup. The word 'God' appears almost every fortnight. Thank God Facebook is only an Online platform or we could have seen some physical Brawls too. Frequently Used Words : Hail, Kick Ass, Woo Hooo, F*ck you , God, Dada Rocks

The 'TGIF' kinds: Typically they will only update two times a week. One on friday evening saying 'Yiiipppppie the weekend is here' and then sunday Evening saying 'Damn.. Why does the weekend run away so quickly'. They will never do anything in the middle. Will just sit at home and watch TV. They will never go out or do anything worth doing over the weekend but still be as excited as a child in a toy shop on friday. Sometimes, there could be a Saturday update saying 'Bored to Death' also present.

Pet Lovers: Yes, there are people who have Cats and Dogs as their profile pictures and also name them as an extended part of their family. There are a couple of albums with nothing but their pets in different attires (Even sunglasses) and the comments are almost on the lines of mush maniacs like awwww he is so cutttteeee, My koooochie cooo, etc etc.



There are quite a few others too like The Every hour updater (Which I would fit into), The Pseudo everything-er, The bored to Death, The 'Oh I am an NRI', The 'See i went to Thailand' types but i am too lazy to describing every thing right now
PS: Wrote it in about 20 minutes so might miss out quite a few other types too. Feel Free to Add. Start Noticing your friends now and see where they fit. Do let me know where i fit as well. and ya, its ALL in GOOD HUMOR. Dont stop 'liking' me now.. ;)

And i always thought Motion Gaming was played on a Toilet seat

Whoever said 'Behind Every successful man, there is a woman' got the cause and effect relationship wrong

What are you saying!!! FYI is not Fuck You Idiot ????? like Seriously???

Its as chilly as it gets and so foggy you can hardly see.

Your tanki is full and a thousand times in a day you pee.

You are dressed like an eskimo, but feels as if you are bare.

'Weather' is damn cold, but 'With her', do you seriously care??

Do DSP Black Rock Mutual Fund and DSP Black Whisky have a cause and effect relationship ????

With a State university called Dick-in-son.. No wonder the country is called the You Ass !!!

Shouldn't a Traveler's guide be called a Pathologist???

Are MACROman undergarements meant only for photographers???

Clash of the Titans : No Oh My 'God' factor

Clash of the Titans is a Men Vs Gods Greek mythology War epic which has the usual larger than life scale, scary monsters, cool graphics, emotional turmoil of the lead character but still doesn't work because there is nothing new to offer, because everything in the movie has already been seen/done before. There is no 'oh my God' factor anywhere. Everything seemed to be inspired from earlier movies. Watch it only if you have nothing better to do and your idea of cinema is watching creepy and enormously large creatures screaming with their mouth full of saliva and throwing their tail(s) here and there and in turn killing hundreds of people. Nothing apart from that.

The movie is (supposed to be) an epic tale between Men and Gods. Wherein the Hades(The God from the underworld) gets angry with a King, since his queen compared their daughter to the god and said that the men don't need Gods but rather the Gods need men for their worship. Now, Perseus (Sam Worthington) who is half man-half god needs to go to some witches, kill some giant scorpions, slay medusa's head and yeah.. kill a may be a 200 mtr(or even higher) Godzilla + T Rex look alike called Kraken. Needless to say, He does all of it (almost) alone.

There is nothing to mention about the performances, since nobody really had to act anywhere during the movie apart from looking scared, stone faced, creepy and screaming your lungs out. I think this is where the movie did not do anything for me. I could not relate to the characters at all. I wish the movie was made with a better cast. I understand that the budget would (obviously) be polarized towards the special effects but i am sure they could have done with some better actors. What about Morgan Freeman as Zeus or Russel Crowe as Perseus?

As far as the Special Effects and CGI(or whatever) Graphics are concerned. They were pretty good, but everything seemed to have been lifted from other movies. The locations reminded too much of LOTR. The Scorpions and the Djinns reminded too much of The Mummy Series and the Scorpion King. Even the Monster Kraken looked like a cross breed between a T Rex and Godzilla. The sequence where the princess is being offered to the Kraken, reminded just too much of Peter Jackson's King Kong. All in all, everything was seen and heard of, so it just does not offer anything new for the audience. The last 10 minutes are pretty neat but i am sure you don't really follow 80-20 principle in movies ;)

Overall : The usual Larger than Life epic tale , which did not do justice to the scale it deserved. Above Average but no OMG factor. Watch it if you are looking for some really BIG monsters on screen and nothing else.

Feel-O-Meter : 4/10

PS: I hope you get the pun with God being in quotes ;)

PSS: You could find the review too harsh and the reason could be that i watched 4 action flicks (2012, GI Joe, Transformers 1 and 2) back to back before i went to see COTT.

No. I dont work at ABC corp. I am just employed there!

No wonder smart people are called intelli-GENT

Aice in wonderland : Down the rabbit hole

This i think could well be my shortest review ever. Not because it was a bad movie but may be because i was just too bored to notice anything good or bad about the movie. The movie just didn't do anything for me. Neither the uni dimensional story nor the over the top performances. Neither the script (or the lack of it) nor the (unimaginitive) special effects. It was just all too boring to say the least. Do NOT watch.

Performances were too loud. Johny Depp was trying another Jack Sparrow but fails miserably. The only saving grace was a couple of laughters here and there with Helena Bonham Carter's portrayal of the Red Queen(which i earlier thought was natalie portman).

The story was more like an extension to the original Alice in Wonderland where from the time she arrives in wonderland what is going to happen in the end. And exactly what wa told in the beggining takes place. So no surprise factor here too. Alice is supposed to slay a dragon to win back the crown from the red queen and pass it on to the white queen. Yes, thats all. And nothing adventurous really happens through out the movie.

Special Effects were also too not special. And frankly after Lord of the Rings and Avatar, a 'wonderland' would never really be as amusing as you might expect it to. It all just looks too simplistic.

Overall : Don't go unless you are a 5 year old. (well, honestly dont go even if you are, coz there are some super duper animation movies which could kick this one's ass left right and center

Feel-O-Meter: 2/10 (Honeslty, i think that also is slightly high but still Zero dena accha nahi lagega) ;)

LSD: Go.. Snort!!!

The movie is impressive to say the least. It has everything that you look for in a movie. Edge of the seat excitement. Stories you can relate to. Different Treatment. Something new to offer. Gripping Performances. Almost everything works. There is nothing wrong anywhere but still when you come out, you feel 'something' was missing which you cant really describe. Nonetheless a must must watch especially if you like the new age cinema taking bollywood a couple of strides ahead.
The movie is as different that you cant really compare it with anything that ever happened in bollywood. First i thought, it was just trying to be different for the sake of being different and to generate a buzz that would pull the audience to the theaters. I was not all too excited about it, because first person camera angles and sleazy MMS scandals just didn't do it for me. I was almost proved right till the first 20 minutes and then did the narrative take a new leap or what. The movie just went in the top gear and stayed there almost till the end.
As the name suggests, the movie is about 3 different (but interlinked) tales about Love, Sex and Dhokha. The first one talks about a sweet couple who live in the dreams of bollywood, DDLJ and Aditya Chopra and run from their house to get married. The second is about the hundreds of MMS scandals that we have heard about. The Third is about the (usual) Sting Operations and the how media works type gyan. Well, on paper, thats hardly something interesting. It sounds as if the director was running short of ideas, so he thought why not have 3 stories (just like the forgettable Dus Kahaniyaan) rather than one. But towards the end of the movie you begin to realize how stupid you actually were thinking that. When the stories start getting linked and characters from one moving into the other. Kick Ass i say.
I would also like to highlight the way the 'objectification of women' have been portrayed in a very subtle manner. Be it honour killings, making MMS scandals to make some easy money or to use money as a use and throw option. It never went preachy anywhere. It was like watching a news bulletin in its true sense. Without taking sides. It just tells you that these things are happening, without shouting from the rooftop.
Performance were as top line as possible. The movie proves that you need 'Actors' and not stars. The whole cast looks like students doing acting courses through NSD, FTII, types. And are they good or what. Every single character was as amazing as it gets. From the loser lover boy to the sweet little thing who falls in love with him. From a run off the mill guy who is trying to make an MMS with his girlfriend to make some money to the girlfriend who just wants to be loved. From the Punjabi singer who wants to bed the girl who wants to do his music video to the cameraman who is trying hard to get this one sting operation over to make some money for his family. I repeat EVERYONE was phenomenal.
Full marks to the Dibakar to have thought outside the box and having the courage to experiment. To have made a different movie rather than only claiming its different. Although the camerawork might look shaky but thats the way its supposed to be. I am still not sure if i loved the camera work or got irritated but yes, i couldnt think of any other way the movie could have been shot too.
Overall: A 'Different' movie with almost no negatives.
Caveat : Dont go if you go hawwww hearing cuss words or are only interested in YRF ;)
Feel-o-Meter : 8/10 (Yes, i am deducting 2 for god knows what. I couldnt really find anything bad which i can describe in words. Just that it was not a 10/10 material. Too good nonetheless )

Things a female guitar player will never say: "My G-String is not in tune"

Why one is only called a ditcher (read: Ditch-her) irrespetive of the gender

I think woman-kind is an oxymoron

If a girl is described as a hot chick. Can a guy be described as a hot Cock??

Not sure if you should be happy if somebody asks you to 'keep it up' ;)

Does Abhishek play Oonglicricket with Ash too

Wish there was a international woo-men day too

Road, Move: RED Light

Road, Movie (Hope you notice the comma between the two words) is one of new age movies for the 'Intellectual' audience. One where the movie is not made only to be seen but interpreted and understood as well. The ideation was good but execution was not. The characterization was interesting but performances were not. The movie is like a painting, you can't just look at it and enjoy unless you understand what it stands for. I am very disappointed that such a good idea has just gone wasted due to poor execution. The director forgot that its a 'Movie' and not a narrative. The Audience wants to get 'entertained' also apart from 'Intellectual Stimulation. It falls in the trap of being too arty to the extent of being boring in most parts.
All through the movie you keep guessing, what is the movie all about, what is the central plot, where is it leading, to the extent that you start asking what the hell is going on here? Suddenly the movie ends and you come out of the cinema hall thinking what actually happened in there. Well, Thats not a nice feeling i tell you If you are not in a mood to exercise your brains and only watch a movie for its entertainment value. Don't waste your time.
The Plot: Road, Movie on the surface is a one line story of a guy who doesn't want to sell hair oil likehis father and goes on a road trip to leave an old truck to its destination and enroute meets 3 different people who first become his co-passangers and then friends. The movie moves forward (or atleast tries to) with the background of water smuggling in rajasthan, a mela, corrupt cops and a couple of other sub plots. As i said, the movie is not about witnessing a story but in trying to figure out director's interpretation of the plot.
My Interpretation: Road,Movie according to me tries to depit life as a journey (read: a road trip) where you meet strangers who end up becoming your friends. Its a tribute to 'cinema' per se. Whenever you are down on that road and meet obstacles or problems, movies provide you the relief that you are looking for. At the weekend when you watch a movie. you forget about all your worries and cinema actually takes you in a different world altogether. Movies are like 'Tel Malish', whenever you are stressed, Movies work as the champi which takes all your worries away. On papers, i think it was one of the most powerful and subtle parallels that could have been drawn between life and cinema. But, sadly it just did not have the same impact on screen.
The Irony: Ironically, the movie talks about Movies working as stress reliever and the audience actually has a head ache trying to understand what the movie was all about. According to the movie, A Movie is supposed to entertain the audience taking one in a different world altogether where one does not care about the problems of one's life and just gets engrossed and comes out relieved and stressfree. But it does exactly the opposite. It was more like a puzzle you are trying to solve rather than 'enjoying' a movie. You hardly get entertained in any of the sequences. There is no 'happy' feeling when you come out of the cinema hall. Infact, it actually gives you more stress when you are trying hard to understand the director's vision. Performances: It was a big disappointment for me from all the actors. Just nothing to mention. Everybody was just very average.
Miscellaneous: Direction was loose. Just like the characters' journey in the movie, the movie itself was lost during most of the narrative. You just did not know where the movie was heading or what point the director was trying to prove. Script was weak. Scenes just seemed to spring from nowhere. Suddenly characters were being introduced from every nook and corner. Dacoits suddenly started having a change of heart after using a hair oil. It was just too arbit and random. Apart from the strong 'idea' the only thing worth mentioning is cinematography. The colors hae been captured very beautifully. Even the night sequences had just the right effect. Kudos to the cinematographer.
Positives: ' The Thought', Cinematography.
Negatives: Everything except the two mentioned above.
Overall : Go if you are the 'intelletual cinema goer' types and do not care about 'entertainment'
Feel-O-Meter: 4/10

No wonder my favorite game is BED-MINTON!

Now i know why people say Every Dog has his day.. Coz nights are ruled by bitches you see!!

Ibibo: Melons

One of the worst and cheapest advertisements in recent past. I mean what was the creative team thinking. Put a fat girl and ask her to push her boobs upwards and use 'melons'.. Seriously WTF material!!!

Coca Cola

I am glad they come out with some really sweet, simple yet brilliant stuff after the aamir khan series. Really amazing!!

This holi may god give you pink health and save you from yellow fever.

You don't get green with envy or Red with Anger.

Nobody is able to beat you black and blue.

Even if you act as jerk, nobody throws a shoe at you.

May your dear ones are always in your sight.

May the next year be as bright as Tide(or Rin) white.

:-D

Happpie Holiiiii.....

Center Fruit: Loved it

Really like it. Just like all the other center fruit/fresh ads. Brilliant

Thums up: Amazing background score

I just loved the background score. The soundtrack makes an otherwise not so great spot work. It gives another dimension to the overall feel. And having a hot model worked in the brand's favour as well :)

Rin Vs Tide: Pathetic

Proving a point is something else and indulging in bickering something else. Rin for me washed away years of good advertising and brand building by one such instance. Pathetic attempt i must say.