The Karate Kid : Needs to Grow up..

There is absolutely nothing new in the movie. As you already would be aware, its about a kid who has had absolutely no prior training in karate, trying to learn it from his master. The training is pretty boring. The fights are pretty boring. The love angle seems too forced. It just doesnt seem to connect at any level possible. The worst part is that the 'Kids' seem more grown up than the grown ups themselves. There is too much of 'maturity ' in the way they carry themselves. They look like actors playing their parts and not characters. Give it a miss

The only (i guess) new angle to it is that the kid is african american rather than chinese. He has to shift to China since her mother is transferred. Then Bollywood kicks in, as he falls in love (yes.. there is a love story with a 12 year old Black Boy and a Chinese Girl). Then there are villains (all not even teenagers) who kick his butt and in order to save his ass, he has to participate in a karate tournament. And (obviously) Jackie Chan trains him and the kid wins the tournament in the end.

The movie failed at multiple levels for me. As already established, the Kids dont seem like Kids. It looks like a high school/college love story. There is too much 'No mercy' for kids in their pre teens. The fights seem to violent. The tournament itself, doesnt look like a kids' tournament. It looks like a bloody royal rumble or a world heavyweight boxing championship. The (12 year old) kids are out their to break each others' legs or necks with their deadly moves and the trainers ask them for 'No Mercy'. Even the Moms are cheering!!!

The training seems too 'Rocky Balboa-ish', with the kid flexing his biceps while training. Also, there was no 'training' per se. After a (not so much of a) routine for a couple of days, suddenly the kid learns karate with in 30 seconds or so. And then (obviously) he beats up the 'trained' kids one by one in the tournament. Too much to achieve with too little training it seems. And thus, movie loses its 'Oh.. It is possible'-ness.


Also, when the movie has 'Karate' in its title. You expect some karate in the movie and not a 10 min sequence at the end filled with 'ropey antics'. There was too little karate for a karate movie. There are no emotional moments. No Ohh poor kid scenes. Absolutely nothing that one might remember after one comes out of the hall.

Jackie Chan should stick to what he does best. Doing unbelievable non traditional martial arts stunts, which make you go, 'Ohhhh.. How did he do it?' rather than acting like a drunkard trying to (yes, only trying to) teach karate to a 12 year old kid.

Overall : An absolute failure at every level. Do NOT watch

Feel-O-Meter :2/10

Q. Why does simpoo respect zinedin zidane so much?
A. Coz he thought he was his zizou ;-)

WTF!!! And all those years i thought STANDARD was a symptom for breast cancer.. #useyourbrainspj

Raavan: Good Cause Gone Evil

I write this review with utter disappointment and despair. I am more sad than frustrated or irritated. Cant believe that a film maker like Mani Ratnam could make such a movie. Infact, when i heard from so many people thats its pretty bad, i assumed that they would not have understood the plot and Mani would have made it too 'Interpretative'. But sadly i annoucne, that the movie is just one of the worst i have seen in recent times. It is just plain boring.

It had the most promising Storyline on paper, but unfortunately it stayed only on paper. The execution was as bad as it could have got. Actors are hamming to the core. Dialogues are pathetic. Narrative is slow. Music is as if Rahman just went to some old box of music sheets and gave it to Mani Ratnam as he was too busy composing for some international project. Background score is cacophonous to say the least. The only redeeming factor was excellent cinematography by Santosh Sivan, a few interpratations of Ramayana which were very thoughtful and... hmmm.. nothing else actually.

The plot itself was the backbone of the film. Imagine taking Ramayana and giving the 'Good vs Evil' a whole new interpretation. According to me, the central theme was 'Good is Who does Good' and nothing can be described in Good vs Evil just by itself. In the movie Raavan doesn't kill anybody in the movie who is not a policeman. He even leaves Ram and Laxman Alive when he gets his chance as well. But Ram uses Sita as a tool to kill Raavan. How Ram can become Ravana and how Ravana can be a hero just by their deeds. Phenomenal Storyline but the execution screwed it all.

One problem that i found was with the marketing, even the name of the film itself. When you name a movie 'Raavan' you already disclose every single thing about the plot and the audience is never interested in the story because they already know about it. Its a different high altogether when you go to the cinema hall and then 'decode' the inferences to the epic. Thats what raajneeti did amazingly well. You dint know it was based on mahabharata but as you went ahead in the movie, you started drawing parallels and had that 'ohhhh.. thats a nice way of putting things in perspective' expression. It would have been much more interesting had he not disclosed that it was based on ramayana. Then, 'finding' out that its based on the epic would be much more exciting and gripping. The characters like ram, sita, raavan, hanuman, laxman, supranakha,vibheeshana would make more sense.

As already established, it was amazingly written on paper in terms of giving a new dimension to the epic's interpretation. I just loved the parallels that mani drew with laxman cutting supranakha's nose and in the movie it is done through her rape. Even in hindi Naak Katnaa is equivalent to rape/pre marital sex itself. I think that was amazingly put across but such instances were too few to quote.

I just wish that movie is made again without the 'Stars'. Abhishek bacchan was the worst of the lot. He hams more than KRK. Has no idea what is doing and why. Just flexing his facial expressions and doing a nana patekar here and there. Aishwarya is doing nothing but flaunting her cleavage in skimpy and amazingly tight blouses. I wonder how she was breathing. (PS : Though i am not complaining here ;D ) Govinda was pretty sweet in his hanuman portrayal. Rest nobody had anything to do anyways.

Music (specially background score) was Cacophonous to say the least. God knows why 'Ranjha Ranjha' started playing in Rekha Bhardwaj's spooky tone in one of the sequences which was irritating to say the least. Suddenly Ganesh Acharya comes in the middle of a song sequence. There was no head and tail with any song what so ever. They were just there coz film maker thought I have to have a few songs if i am paying rahman for the job.

Overall: One of the most disappointing movies in recent times. I still cant believe maniratnam screwed such a great story. I just wish somebody makes it again with no 'stars'.

Feel-o-Meter : 4 (which i think is on the higher side, but 2 each for a couple of 'interpretations' in the narrative were very thoughtful and good cinematography)

And i thought BCC was two hindi gaalis spoken in quick succession !

If you have the will, you will..

WTF!!! The song Bheegi Si Bhaagi Si is NOT inspired from a hidden cam scandal !!!! like seriously???

Shutter Island : Scorsese Meets Shyamalan

The movie is an absolute edge of the seat stuff. From the very first scene when leonardo enters the shutter island, you can't even think of taking a call (boss' or natures included) and you just want to remain seated and witness scorsese's brilliance. Its a psychological blink and you miss thriller. Every 10 minutes you have a different question in mind. Whether this is happening or that? Sometimes you even start to feel schizophrenic yourself. Sometimes you feel its a thriller, Others it seems like a horror flick. But then, you don't expect the master to do a horror flick, right. The best part is its unpredictability. The screenplay is just amazing. Must Watch at any cost.


Well, Almost throughout the movie i kept thinking about M. Knight Shyamalan style of psychological thriller types movie making. It was as if the movie was not by Scorsese but by him. It was the same creepy feeling, the same 'I see Dead people' kinda feel to it. And it works amazingly well.

The only problem about this review is that i cannot divulge any details with respect to the storyline or else it'll be a spoiler. And the flip side is no matter how much i praise this movie, the review will not give you 'the feel' that the movie will deliver. The movie is about a mental institution headed by Dr Cawley (Ben Kingsley) where prisoners are sent to for treatment, at a secluded island. Edward Daniels (Leo), a US marshall comes to investigate the case of a patient who suddenly disappears from her locked room. Edward has his own history of being a US soldier in germany during second world war and a wife who died because a fire broke out in his house. To top that, Edward thinks that the institution itself could be practicing human experiments and the patients are the just the guinea pigs for those experiments. The movie goes back and forth from one story to the other layer by layer and the ending is just crazy (in a good way)

The Score by Gustav Mahler reminded me a lot of the great Hans Zimmer and i dont think i need to say anything more. It was just plain brilliant. It just took the movie to a different level altogether. It just sends chills through your spine in every single shot. The cinematography with all those grey tones was fabulous. The art direction and the sets were top of the line as well.

Overall an absolute cracker and a must must watch.

Feel-O-Meter : 9/10 (I know i havent said anything bad about it, then why 1 point less?? check out the PS note)

PS: I just wish that in place of Leonardo, the movie had Russell Crowe (even Bruce Willis would do). It would have taken the movie in a different trajectory altogether. Leo was not bad but he is just not as brilliant an actor to take the load of such a heavy script. His main problem is his looks. No matter how hard you try, you cannot take out 'Titanic' out of him. Just imagine Russell Crowe in the last couple of sequences in the movie while watching and you'll know what i mean. :)

Raajneeti: Absolutely Kick Ass

Raajneeti is definitely the film of the year (in the first six months of 2010) for me. It is an absolutely intense political drama which derives its roots from mahabharata. Prakash Jha imports the plot to the current times, removes all the unnecessary details, packages it with pretty saving grace performance by the 'non actors' some intense performances by the 'actors' and you get a cracker of a movie. It is in the same league as his earlier films like Apaharan and Gangajal but would be much more successful than the others because of its ensemble cast who can draw the 'non serious' movie going crowd as well. Dont miss it no matter what.

The movie (as already described) take its inspiration from the Mahabharata and Jha makes its own improvisations in the plot for commercial fitment and sets it in Madhya Pradesh (and not Bihar as in the earlier movies). Add to that an NRI 'kid of the family' Ranbir who comes for a vacation and gets absorbed in the violence and power politics (Think Virasat, Sarkaar etc). The cousin, Manoj Bajpai, wants to be the CM at any cost and is supported by Ajay Devgan. The movie leaps forward through a whole series of events through which every half an hour the power pendulum keeps swinging from one side to the other. The story is unidimensional but the screenplay backed by some powerful performances takes it to another level. For me, the interpretation of mahabharata and setting the characters in today's time was an awesome thought and executed beautifully.

Apart from a very gripping screenplay, the soul of the movie lies in the power packed performances by (almost) all the actors. Saying anything about Nana Patekar's performance is like belittling him. He is the choice of the lot and even when he is not delivering his lines, just his screen presence is enough. Next in line is Manoj Bajpai. Man, is he good or is he phenomenal. He plays the sidelined, power hungry, jealous cousin in a way only he could have. He has this 'feel' around the character that can only be felt and not described. I think its his best after Satya. No complaints from Ajay Devgan. I think he proves the 'Its all in the eyes' theory to the core. Ranbir does a very fair job knowing his acting limitations and sticking to them. It shows the maturity that he is gathering as an actor. The non-actors (Arjun Rampal and Katrina Kaif) are tolerable as well and you dont feel uncomfortable when they are on screen.

Overall : The first (i guess) Mahabharata improvisation till date. Definitely the best movie so far this year and a must watch.

Feel-O-Meter: 9/10

PS: I just wish they could cast somebody place of Arjun Rampal (who looks good till the time he doesnt open his mouth) and also the case with Katrina Kaif (Yes that irritating tooti footi Hindi is still as bad as earlier). and ya, it is NOT inspired from the Gandhi family.

What??? 'Faggot' is NOT a slang for Smokers??? like seriously??? ;)

After your third relationship, Can you call the first one your 'Triple X'

Thinks the expression should not be dead tired but f**k tired. For obv reasons..

As a principle,I never wish any guy friend 'good night sleep tight' ;-)

Pathshala : Fail :(

The movie is so bad that i dont even feel like writing the review. It was like the most amazing and noble idea which got screwed because everything just went too bad. I even started wondering that how in the world, can every department fail such synchronistically. Director almost forgot what he was trying to make. Actors were either hamming or were trying to desperate to look cute or most of the times had no idea what were they doing. Script had like the worst written scenes. Story just kept moving without having any sense of direction or idea. Songs (except one which is ammmazing to say the least) were as bad as they come. Half way in the movie i lost interest as well as the plot. I was hardly bothered about what was happening on screen and was chit chatting with my friend. All in all, not at all worth your time even if you are like the wella-est person at the weekend.

After i heard the bekaraar song and heard about the plot, i was pretty excited to watch this movie. The movie is (obviously) about a school, its principal (and his principles), teachers, students and its trustees. It is (supposed) to talk about the recent branding and commercialization of education/schools in the recent past, where in the parents are least bothered about the education system in a particular school and are rather concerned about the brand name. This was the basic premise, but the director in order to make sure that it appeals to a larger set of audience, zabardastily introduced a number of different sub plots like use of children in reality shows etc. The movie just lost its main plot and i somehow got lost in the middle as to what was the point it was trying to make. I think it was one of the better storylines in recent times (at least on paper) and could have done wonders if made correctly. It had all the right ingredients present. Everybody wants to go back to those school days but it just did not hit at the right spot at all.

Actors (apart from Nana Patekar) were as bad as they are supposed to be, given their (supposed) acting prowess! Shahid Kapoor was as usual his stone faced best. Ayesha Takia did not have anything to do in the movie anyways. The Kids were too over exposed already on television, so they already have lost the innocence in their performances. The grown up kids look like wannabe models (and some of them already are as well ). Nana Patekar delivers a very powerful speech in the end (Just like Amitabh Bachan did in Rann) which according to me was the only good thing about the movie. And i doubt you would want to spend more than 2 hours and a couple of hundred rupees to watch a two minute monologue.

Even on the production front, i think it was among some of the worst movies in recent times. Even the make up was so pathetic that it looked like a 90s TV serial with characters wearing fake moustaches (Honeslty speaking, we used to have better make up even in my inter collegiate theater days). A kid whose face is supposed to look like its burnt or damanged, looks as if there is a black chewing gum stuck on his face. Just the worst ever.

Positives: One song(which is amazingly written, composed and sung but picturized in the worst possible way) and a 2 minute monologue by Nana Patekar.

Negative : Everything else.

Overall: The movie was a disappointment on all front for me. Don't watch even if you have all the time and free tickets

Feel-O-Meter: 2/10

PS: Funny it is that i started the review by writing that i do not even want to write the review and still managed to write so many negatives about the movie ;)

The only sona i m gonna get on this akshay tritiya is on my bed :(

Badmaash Company: Average Returns

The movie is one of those 'average' movies which neither leave you excited nor complaining about anything. Its just a plain simple movie which can easily ignore and also not mind watching it. There is almost nothing in the movie which makes it special but you would not leave it in the middle too. It just goes on at its pace without any hiccups for a pretty good time, then comes a small preachy bit which irritates you and then comes back on track for the happy ending.

The movie is about friendship and 'lets get rich' quick mentality. Its set in mid 90s and unfolds in India and US in first and second half respectively. The friends want to make some quick bucks and they start using the customs Duty regime in India in a very cunning and con-ning way. The movie then moves to US with similar tricks. Then comes the preachy 'oh we are friends', 'lets forget rich and get respected', 'i love my family (and india)' stuff, and then it ends with a cunning but not con-ning way of making money with a happily ever after K3G types ending.

All the actors were pretty decent and i never felt uncomfortable about anybody's performance. Infact, i really liked Chang (Yes, the guy from Indian Idol)'s act. He was pretty smooth. Rest all were decent and there were no hiccups anywhere (although a couple of smooches were definitely not required) And ya jfyi, Anushka Sharma is just not hot no matter how low her tops or how high her skirt is.

The title track is pretty groovy and your shoulders just start moving when you hear it. There were a couple of 'what!!! is that really a song' kinda crappy songs too which i am sure you will ignore. Baaki, nothing great to write about anywhere else.

Overall : I'm sure you are not dying to watch it anyways but if you get cheap tickets and have time, you will not get too bored either

Feel-O-Meter : 5/10

Iron Man 2 : Loha Garam hai.

For me, Iron Man has never been anything to do with the hi tech gadgets or kick ass action. For me, It has always been about Robert Downey Jr's portrayal of Witty, Flambuoyant and not to mention Self Obsessed Tony Stark. I think Tony Stark it the super hero every one wants to see. Who doesn't live behind curtains. Who doesn't have anything to hide. Who wants the world to know that 'He' is the reason why every one can feel safe. now THATs what i call a super hero. Superman, Batman and the other lot. Take a hike, coz Iron Man is back with his 'F**k Off' attitude. The best part about the movie is that you want Downey to be in his real Tony Stark mode more than the Iron Man Avatar.

The movie is an absolute cracker with loads of style, attitude and amazing soundtrack. No matter how many times you have heard Highway to Hell, it still does something to you in the end credits. This is not your run off the mill super hero movie where the larger than life villain is trying to end the world and the superhero is the only hope the world has. Here, the villain is as much flesh and blood as the Super Hero himself and THATs what makes it different coz no matter how unbelievable all that gadgetery might look it, it still feels believable coz of the 'human' (not in a senti way) touch that Downey gives it to the character. He is just not your regular 'good' man. He is just an eccentric billionaire who also likes to tackle the bad guys to (may be) boost his ego even further. Ironically, in the very first sequence Tony says, "Please, Its not about Me" and you know it IS only about him and still love it.

The movie is about a certain Ivan Vanko (Mickey Rourke) who wants to destroy Iron Man's superhero image publically. "If you could make God bleed, people will cease to believe in Him", he says. The reason is apparently coz his father had some problem with Tony's Father (or whatever). And what the heck, who cares about the plot in superhero movies anyways. The background Score is Amazing. Special Effects are kick ass. The Introduction of the other Characters played by the likes of Scarlett Johansson, Denzel Washington, Don Cheadle adds up to the franchisee. In terms of performance, (obviously) Robert Downey Jr steals the show from the very first shot. But Others were equally good too. Infact Sam Rockwell did a pretty neat job in his not so elaborate stark's rival hammer role.

Overall : A Kick Ass Super Hero Movie which is way more than the gadgets and the super powers. Watch it for Robert Downey Jr.

Feel-O-Meter: 9/10

Nothing seemed right & u wer al alone.
Everything looked dark & d hapines ws al gone.
Somethin ws mising, Somethin ws not there.
Things were not great & life just dint seem fair.
A door opened & the room was filled with light.
A silhouette walked in & everything became alright.
Everything just changed in an instant, i have no idea how.
Wish time stops here coz i want to live in this moment right now

Fly me to the Moon : Takes off and then goes down

3 Flies looking for an adventure and sneak into Apollo 11 when the first manned flight to the moon takes off. Looks Promising right?. The problem was that the 'adventure' was not adventurous enough. The 3 D graphics are superb to the say the least but lack of 'ohhh shit' scenes just completely washed that out. You just dont feel that 'edge of the seat' excitement and that screwed a perfect idea and the movie went down the drain (well almost)

The movie had a fantastic storyline. But thats all it had. You keep thinking that something would happen now and keep hoping that it happens but it doesn't. And since the director had no idea how to stretch this one sentence story further. He adds some russian flies who are planning to sabotage the US mission and some US flies who are trying to stop them from doing so, which could have worked only if they had some real sense of 'oh my god' moments or even some 'wise cracks'. But that was not the case.

The reason why people go and watch animation movies is that they take you away from the real world into a world of possibilities. Where things which cannot take place do take place. A world of impossible-ism and making it possible. The ideation part was good. The characters on paper were cute as well. But the execution (and i repeat 3d was crazily kick ass) was not too great.

The director just didn't know how to take it forward. I am sure the moon mission in itself would have been pretty adventurous with a lot of ups and down in reality. Rather than exagerating those moments, the movie just makes it a too-simple a hitch ride. The flies just get in, reach the moon, wave and come back. Absolutely no adventurous. No breath taking moments. No 'oh shit they are gonna get killed' scenes. Absolutely nothing.

The only positive thing that bound me was Absolutely Stunning 3D effects. If you have seen Avatar, Clash of the Titans in 3D. Do go and watch this and THEN you shall realize how pathetic they looked in 3D if you compare with Fly me to the moon. The flies are almost at your nose especially in the first 2-3 sequences and that sets the pace for the movie. Just lack of direction and screenplay couldnot keep up with the technology or else it could have been an amazing movie after Up.

Feel-O-Meter: 4/10

Overall : Take your kids if you have promised them to show some movie this weekend or if you want to experience some REAL 3 D

PS: Just noticed that movie was released in US in Aug 2008 and was the first animation 3D movie. The Effects seem even more impressive now.

Housefull : What else do you expect

Before the movie begins, Sajid Khan declares that the movie is a tribute to the cinema of prakash mehra, hrishikesh mukherjee and the like. It is the way he perceives cinema as.. Entertainment. Which is like a disclaimer of sorts that there is not going to be anything in the movie but you are going to leave the cinema hall entertained. Now how the 'entertainment' is going to come is a different question altogether. May be his definition of entertainment means slapstick, people hitting each other for no reason, women jumping from windows, confusion all over, queen elizabeth speaking marathi, Double meaning dialogues, The done to death (male) Kantaben sequence and yeah forgot to mention. If everything fails, try laughing gas.

This review is almost not required to even state which so obvious.All of you understand this BEFORE watching the movie and i am just writing exactly the same AFTER watching it. And yes, let me make it very clear that i am not criticizing the movie in anyway. Any movie i go to, i have an expectation in my mind as to what is the reason for me to watch this movie. That's the reason i enjoy DD-Govinda genre like nuts. Same is the case with housefull. (Obviously) you know what to expect from the movie even if the disclaimer/tribute was not even there. You know it is going to be a stupid movie which will not make any sense what so ever. And all the things mentioned earlier are expected to happen. The difference is if even the most lame jokes are still able to tickle your funny bone or not. In this case, Its somewhere in the middle. Some of the jokes, scenes are irritating as hell but some are damn funny too and you almost go ROFL.

The story i dont think is even remotely relevant so i am not going to waste a sentence on that. It starts in a very irritating fashion, then goes further with some funny sequences and ends in a pathetic fashion almost as if the director was like, 'oh shit, how do i end it now'. Oh yeah, why not try laughing gas. I am going to drive home a senti point but wait a minute, its a funny movie so all actors should laugh. Voila.. Laughing Gas!!!!

And yes, since its a commercial movie with (almost) A list actors. Lets throw in some exotic locations, foot tapping-club type music, a remixed item song. and i forgot, there are 3 damn hot actresses too, so throw in some bikini/lingerie, coming out of ocean, cleavage revealing shots and we have loads for the masses to ogle at. Not to mention that it lifts off a number of scenes from hollywood movies like night at the museum, meet the fockers, bollywood movies like kal ho na ho, and also some south indian movie which my friend told me about.

Actors (i am actually confused if i should even use that term though) do what they are supposed to. Akshay, Riteish try their best (btw, you already know that this is the best that they can do, so you dont complain). Girls make the guys go all wide eyed with their already described talent. Boman Irani for me is the one whom i liked the most and Arjun Rampal does his 'wooden' act to perfection as always.

Feel-O-Meter: 6/10 (You might think its a bit on the higher side, but theek hai yaar, chalta hai)

Overall: (Again, Obviously) Its one of those stupid movies you want to watch just to forget what is going on in your life. You watch it, Keep criticizing it all through that how dumb this movie is, but still enjoy it.