Irony of life explained by my mother: "Jab daant the to baadam nahi the, ab baadam hain to daant nahi hain

Q. Kiski patang kabhi nahi kat ti?
A. Ratan Tata, coz he's got all the MANZA

Look at the irony, with all those jokes on he can do this, he can do that. His name is Rajni-Can't

Sometimes i feel the word woman was misspelt. It was originally supposed to be woe-man

Everybody who's seen the fighter is requested to recall christian bale's full name. Im sure you'll burst laughing. :P
A. Dicky EkLund

The Fighter : Packs a Punch

The Fighter is not your typical 'Rocky' movie. Its not about training hard or rising when you are down type of a movie. It is hardly about boxing to be honest. Boxing just provides the landscape or the setting. The movie is more about the relationships between the boxer with his half brother, mother and girlfriend. Its about what happens outside the ring more than what happens inside. The best thing about the movie (as most of you would be aware already) are the performances. This is a movie which rides on the performances rather than the story or the direction or the script. Its individual brilliance that takes precedence. Especially Christian Bale. He is simply brilliant in his oscar winning portrayal of a Crack Addict Ex-Boxer Dickey Eklund. Take him out of the movie and its just an average hollywood flick. Include him in and its one of the finest ever. Watch it for Bale. You wont be disappointed. Treat to watch.

The movie is about Mickey Ward, a boxer (ill)trained by his half brother Dicky Eklund (Bale)and (mis) managed by his Mother (Mellisa Leo in her oscar winning role). How he has always been living in the shadow of the two and sometimes wants to break free and get what he deserves. On the other hand, Dicky wants his brother to win but is a crack addict and is not able to give him what he is capable of. The mother thinks she knows best but thats what she thinks and not what really is. Its about how they fall apart, almost ending Mickey's career and how they come together as a family again and (obviously) make him the champ.

Christian Bale is the reason, the movie is, what it really is. I am running short of adjectives to describe his performance. He plays the role of a crack addict Ex boxer Dickey minus the hamming of typical crack addict performances such amazingly well that you go oh my god. Moreover, his commitment to the character shows in his performance and especially the way he has moulded himself physically for the character. I am sure he must have lost 30-40 pounds (may be more) just to look like the character. He doesn't look like the batman we are supposed to identify with. The very first scene appears and you are like, what the heck, Is this Christian Bale? and That's the beginning. The movie just lights up whenever he is on screen. The best part (as already mentioned) is the subtelty by which he plays the role without the typical over the top crack addict portrayals. Another thing that strikes you about his performance is in the last 60 seconds when the 'real' Dickey appears when the credits are rolling and says a couple of sentences. Then you are like 'What the Fuck, he looks exactly like him and speaks exactly like him too'. This is the time you realize the brilliance of his performance. He has moulded himself physically, mentally and even speech-wise to match the real Dickey. This is when you realize the commitment of Bale towards the role. And this is when you feel the respect for the portrayal more than the adulation.

Mellisa Leo's performance also moves you but i am not sure if its the typical Oscar Winner. She was good nonetheless not sure if she deserves an oscar there since i haven't seen any of the other nominations' movies. Mark Wahlberg plays the his not aggressive, calm, serious role aptly and doesn't seem to overact and actually underplays his part which was kind of required as well. Amy Adams does a good job in her kind of possessive girlfriend portrayal too. But for me it was Bale all the way.

To be honest, apart from the performances, it was just about above average in every other department, no oh my god stuff in any other department. Though i must mention that i really liked the fight sequences shot in a typical 'real life boxing match' manner rather than being 'rocky-ish' larger than life and with slow motions and all. Really liked the straight forward manner in which the fight scens were shot making it look more like a documentary rather than a hollywood flick. Thumbs up there. But nothing great anywhere else, according to me.

Overall: A Must Watch because of Christian Bale's brilliant performance and commitment to a character

Feel-O-Meter: 8/10

Black Swan: Not a movie but an Experience

Okay first things first. The movie is one of the finest that i have seen in the past 5 years or even beyond. So if you want you may stop reading right now and start booking the Tickets. There is nothing about the movie i did not like. Every single thing. Every Single Frame. Every Single Twist. Every Single Turn. Screenplay, Direction, Performances, Cinematography, Art Direction, Background Score. Every single thing was absolutely perfect. Natalie portman delivers a once in a lifetime performance and is absolutely wonderful. This is one of the very few movies which actually got me so badly hooked that i had goosebumps and was almost trembling in excitement. It was as if the movie was taking place 'inside' me. Its like watching a play from the wings (if you havent been on stage then as if you are watching it from the first row). I can go on and on and on (and will) So just book it as soon as possible. Don't waste the movie on a DVDrip. Please watch it in a theater near you because that is where it deserves to be experienced.

Black Swan is the story of a ballerina who is trying to portray a once in a lifetime role of a white AND black swan. She has everything which takes to be the 'white' swan but does not have the darkness needed to be the black swan. The movie is about her being transformed from the white swan to the black swan on-stage as well as off-stage. How the play takes over her life and how the transformation takes place. How she goes from being her mother's cute little girl to a complete bitch. Now whether her real life is taking over her performance or her performance is taking over her real self. That is the question. This is just an introduction since i do not disclose much on the story in most of my reviews. Watch it to believe it. The story is a starting point where the brilliance begins.

As already updated, Natalie delivers the performance of her life. I mean its hard to believe that she is the same girl who once played Padme Amidala in Star Wars as a 15 year old youngster. She has matured so much and it shows. I cant think of anybody else who could have played the role better than her. May be Hillary Swank but she is too hard for the 'white swan' and NAtalie is just brilliant. She is so believable in the role. She has worked so hard on the part learning ballet etc and all her hardwork pays and shows on screen. Her performance takes the film to a different level altogether. *Respect*

The Screenplay is the next star attraction. The movie has some of the best edge of the seat moments. Last year i thought shutter island had the same magic but this beats it by far and i mean by far. Every single frame. Every single Twist and Turn is just purely magical. There are no 30 seconds where you could take a sip from your cold drink (which literally happened with me, i could not finish even half of my cold drink through out the movie). Absolute Gem.
The Direction is phenomenal, the art direction (especially given the fact that only white, black and pink were used mostly ) is superb and the background score was ohhh my god. There are hardly any other instrument except a violin and a piano is used and still it weaves such a magic around the film that it almost feels like the central character. I dont think the movie would have had such an amazing effect had it not had the most brilliant background score possible.
Overall : Its an experience rather than a movie. Absolutely brilliant from start to finish.

Feel-O-Meter: 10/10 (Yes, i couldnt find a single wrong thing about the movie so can't deduct a single point anywhere)

PS: I was so excited to write the review that i cancelled everything and rushed back home just to write the review. Though i watched The Fighter earlier than this but still thought this deserved to have been written about before :)

Checking

Checking from mobile

Tanu Weds Manu: Rubbish, Trashy, Worst Movie of the 'Next' 5 years

TWM is one of the worst movies i have seen in recent times. For one, it has Kangana Ranaut who hams even more than Dada Muni in clerk and is absolutely the most irritating portrayal by any actress in Indian Cinema EVER. She is just absolutely rubbish. Then the movie has got no sense from start to finish. The Story is good on paper but then bad dialogues, worse casting, cacophonous music, hiccups-like narration spoils what could have been a good movie (given the good story). I can safely say that it is going to be the worst movie of the 'next' five years, given the fact that it is just not possible to make a movie as bad as this. Overall a Must Must Avoid at any cost. Even if the tickets are offered for free.

Okay, let me start with the good things first (only because there is hardly anything that i liked). Madhavan was very nice and sweet in his role which was supposed to be nice and sweet. The girl who plays Kangana's bihari friend was damn good. The Song Saddi Galli was rocking. The Story (on paper) was pretty neat. Hmmm.. Thats about it i guess.

Now coming to the problems. First and the foremost, Kangana Ranaut is not an actor in any sense of the word. She can only scream 'you baastaaaaaaad' and play a psychotic drug addict (which i guess is not 'acting' but her being her own self) and just can't do anything else (even with the new boobs she just got). She is so fucking irritating that she makes jimmy shergill look like al pacino. She just hams, hams and hams. Director: Kangana, look cute. Kangana Hams. Director: Kangana, look hot. Kangana:L Hms, Director: Kangana, laugh, Kangana : Hams. I mean that dumb actor has same expression for every fuckin emotion possible in this world (or even beyond). Her mere presence on the screen irritates you so much that you forget about any or everything going on.

The Dialogues are the worst in the past 10 years. I mean, even Joginder Movies have better dialogues than this piece of shit. Mithun's movies look like master pieces and literary art. I mean bandar-bandariya and what not was there and you seem to laugh your asses off (ok not really, since you get very irritated) at every emotional sequence throughout.

The Screenplay is shit too. Suddenly you are in one city, then hop to another doing a different thing altogether. Then back in some other city and the best part is the ending. I mean who the fuck wrote that, haan? Dolly Bindra? Yes, i am spoiling it for you by telling you what happens in the end since anyways i dont want you to go and watch this piece of trash. The two Heroes take Two separate baraats at the same time to marry the girl. And then one (supposedly) macho man takes out the gun to shoot the other and then one senti dialogue and he decides to sacrifice his love. Arrrrrrrrgh.. I wish that gun was pointed at me and boom.

Music is the most horrible and cacophonous music i have heard in a long time to the point that it doesnt qualify as music. (Except Saddi Galli ofcourse, which is more like an Item Song and is fuckin awesome). Every song is like An Arrow coming out of Arjun's Bow and just kills you word by word. Bad writing, Bad Music, Bad singing. Just plain Bad.

There is no direction. The movie runs as if the producers-cameraman-songwriter-chaiwala-spotboy all took turns to direct different scenes 'Chal ab meri baari' types. And the characters are just not in their character. I mean for god's sake, Jimmy Shergill is a lucknow guy who behaves like a Punjabi jatt for most and suddenly speaks a couple of urdu words to remind us, ohh haan he is from lucknow remember.

I can go on and on and on. But will stop here.

Overall: Worst movie for the next 5 years except Madhavan and That bihari girl's acting and Saddi Galli

Feel-O-Meter: 2/10 (To be honest, i soo want to give it a Zero but Madhavan ka chehra saamne aa jata hai isliye 2/10)

To be honest, if sense if humour was ACTUALLY on top of women's priority list. Raju Srivastav would have had the hottest wife and hefner would have been a loner.

iPad 2: Ab dugna geelapan sokhe (Taglines Gone wrong)