The way gadaffi is f**kin Libya, it should be declared as a cunt-ry

7 Khoon Maaf: Killer Instincts

7 Khoon Maaf is a dramedy which is another gem from (my most favorite director) Vishal Bhardwaj. Almost everything about the movie is brilliant. The Story is fresh, Characters are Iinteresting, Narration Quick, Direction controlled, Performances nothing short of fascinating. Even though you already know what's going to happen (Its not a brainer that she is going to kill all her husbands), the movie still keeps you interested as to How and Why it will happen. All the stories have nothing common nor anything is repeated anywhere which doesn't let your mind wander. Though i wish that there were no songs, neil nitin mukesh and john abraham, i am still a very satisfied fan. Must Watch.

The fact that moved the most about the movie was not its comic sense but rather the tragic story of Susanna. How she is just a simple girl trying to find her true love and Every single time she marries, she has that little hope somewhere that she might find her perfect match and live happily ever after. But life has different plans for her. I actually am very sympathetic towards the character since (as i said) just looking for love. How unfortunate she is, that something that everybody gets, she gets 7 times over but everytime she gets it, she has to end it herself. Imagine her pain every single time. That is something i really moves me in the story. I don't feel pity for even a single Man who is killed, but every time one is killed, A part of Susanna is also killed with him. Those 7 murders are not of susanna's husbands but of susanna herself.

As most would be already aware, the movie is based on Ruskin Bond's (who incidentally does a cameo in the movie as well) Susanna's Seven Husbands, where the lead character (obviously) kills her 7 husbands one by one. The thing to know is how and more importantly how. The movie is all about the curiosity of what's gonna happen next and more importantly what happens in the end. Is she a culprit or Is she a victim? Does she live happily ever after or behind bars?

The most important aspect of the movie (apart from the story and narration) are the performances. Every single Actor (yes please exclude Neil Nitin Mukesh and John Abraham here) delivers a power packed performance. Starting with Ms Chopra, She hasn't really been my favorite actress (none is to be honest) but i still prefer her to the sonams and deepikas of the world. To me, this should get her All the awards next year (category could be best villain or best actress depending on the jury's sensibilities) and (maybe) a national award too. She captures the essence of the character through all the different age brackets she plays. No points for guessing that Naseeruddin Shah and Irrfan Khan are fabulous too but the pick of the actors (out of the husbands) for me was Annu Kapoor. He is just simply amazing. Naseer's son Vivaan disappoints though. I just wish VB had taken a 'real actor' than a Star Son for such an important role given the fact that the movie moves further through his narration only.

Loved almost everything about the movie including the fabulous dialogues, background score, cinematography, set design etc except from the fact that i wish there were no songs. To me, the songs stopped the flow of the movie in between and were acting like commercial breaks in a cricket match. None of the songs actually add any value to the narrative (unlike VB's classic Omkara). Also, Neil Nitin Mukesh and John Abraham are absolutely waste of two stories. NNM should get a cue from this one that he just can't act especially in tough roles. His voice is just too squeaky, He is just too thin and girly for a manly role like a Air Force officer. John (despite his rock star image) didn't look like a rock star. Such a phenomenal character and opportunity and the bugger just wasted it. ANY other actor could have nailed it in the role. Anyways, i am still very happy about the movie despite these things.

Overall:  A Must Must Watch for VB's brilliance. Fabulous Narrative. Kick Ass performances and especially for Susanna

Feel-O-Meter: 9/10

PS: Would love to understand your version of the 7th husband given the fact that she just kills 6 once you watch the movie ;)

PPS: I am kinda too feely about the movie right now so the review might not appear coherent, grammatically correct or might even not make sense at all. Kindly adjust ;)

If Sachin is God, Sehwag is Devil. Atleast for the opposition

Thinks the phrase 'Apne PAIR pe kulhadi' chalaana would apply to most actresses. No?

Hawwjoke of the day: With the WAGs not being around, most cricketers will be doing kalaaiyon ka sahi istemaal off the field, no?

Patiala House : Hit Wicket

Patiala House is one of those movies which tries to combine two things Indians may die (as well as Kill) for. Cricket and Bollywood. Especially given that world cup fever is catching up, the timing could not have been better as well. But the bottom line is the movie has to be 'made' good as well. The movie had an absolutely amazing storyline. Terrific performance by Rishi Kapoor. But is weak on narration. The movie has its moments but which are far and few. It suddenly goes up and then drags along. Then again goes up and then drags along. Overall, One time watch but not exciting enough as you would have expected.

Patiala House is the story of a 34 year old Ex-Fast Bowler who has a stubborn, control freak father who has decided that his son will not play for England. The son doesn't play and runs a Department Store. Because of his father's attitude, All in the family convince him to go for trials and play for the country so that his father could let them live their dreams as well. This is the basic storyline with about 20 odd family members whom you can hardly remember or associate with.

The movie had a pretty interesting cast as well as the storyline but the script and direction killed it. The movie has its moments here and there, but they are far and few. You start enjoying the movie and suddenly it falls flat. Then it picks up and then again falls. In the end you are unable to decide whether you like this movie or hate it. There is nothing great to love, but there is nothing irritating about it so you don't hate it too. You somehow are 'just about satisfied' with how the things turn out.

The high point of the movie is Rishi Kapoor. He delivers an absolute cracker of a performance. You hardly expect him to play a stubborn sardaar ji and he does it with so much elan that you almost hate him for being himself. Deserves a nomination as the 'Best Villain' this year already i say. Anushka Sharma is pretty good too. She does well in her cute role and doesn't feel too crazily bubbly as well. Akshay Kumar was a waste since he hardly fits the soft spoken, scared middle aged  son's character. There is a new guy who plays Akshay's cousin (Puneet) is a newcomer to watch out for. I could see streaks of Prashant and KK Menon in his cameo.

The music (apart from a song or two) is absolutely rubbish. The background score wasn't too great either. Nikhil Advani seems to have his Kal Ho na ho hangover still and it was quite obvious in more than a couple of scenes. It looks like a Kal Ho Na Ho family in UK (in place of US). Could have made a pretty amazing movie out of the subject given the performances but it just is a 'decent' movie.

Overall : An Average movie which offers a few 'worth watching' moments but nothing great to write home about except Rishi Kapoor's performance. Feel Good movie which may be watched  (but only once) with family.


Feel-O-Meter: 6/10

Food for Thought: I think casting akshay was the biggest mistake. If only, there was (say) Hrithik Roshan in the lead role it could have been a different movie altogether. You like to see Akshay as a Macho Man doing wonders/stunts rather than being a meek soft spoken guy. I think Hrithik could have played the transformation bit very convincingly.

To be honest, I think it should be called valentine's night for obvious reasons

"Bhai, bhabhi to maal hai yaar" isnt exactly the best congratulations message to a friend on his marriage

Dear priyanka chopra, im sure now u'v realized that in india 7 khoon maaf ho sakte hain but tax evasion nahi

I was planning to write a post called '10 Reasons why i love Pamela Anderson'. And then i realized, why waste 8 !!

Dear Credit rating agencies, if you are Moody or your standards are poor. No wonder nobody gives a shit about what you say

Yeh Saali Zindagi: Guy Ritchie Masala with Indian Tadka

YSZ is a romantic comedy dramatic thriller which keeps you on your toes for most of its length. The story is very complicated and involves far too many characters you can remember. But its all worth it in the end. Its full guy ritchie's masala but in pure dilli style full of haryanvi slangs. Irrfan Khan is at his awesome best and takes the majority of the film's burden on his shoulder. Though gets slow in the middle when you are like, come on get over with it and tell me what's gonna happen in the end. But a Definite Watch nonetheless.

More than being complicated, the plot has too many things happening simultaneously. Too many 'ditching' one party and moving to another type stuff. Its a gangster movie with a dash of comedy, romance and also keeps that thriller angle to keep you on the edge of your seats. Well, let me try to explain. A loves P, who loves S, who is getting married to V a minister's daughter. K is a small time gangster married to S who works for B. B wants K to kidnap V and S so that he can be out of jail. C, the younger brother of B wants to kill B. Now K instead of kidnapping S and V, kidnaps S and P and A gets involved in the whole process. Now whether, if yes then how and who all live happily ever after is the trick.. Too complicated? Wait till you watch the movie.. OK, i am exageratting. It sounds too many stories and characters but its all fun and you hardly seem to notice these.

On the performance front, Its Irrfan all the way. Saurabh Shukla does well and Chitrangada (obviously) looks as yummy as she is. Arunodaya Singh is pretty decent and newbie Aditi Rao hydari is ammmmmazingly cute. Mind you, she acts well too, watch out for her. A Talent like Prashant is wasted in such a trivial role.

The highpoints of the movie is its pure and realistic treatment without getting boring. Its being true to the Dilliyapa. The locations, The dialect, the nuances, the words used, the gaalis, every single thing is exactly the way it happens. Its almost, as if you are witnessing events rather than watching a movie. Direction is grippy. Full points to the Dialogues as well as the complicated script. The Amazingly well written cuss words, anecdotes, advices are just out of the world and will leave you rolling in your chair laughing.

On the negative side, Backgrouns score is weak. Songs are pathetic. But hey the movie is not about songs and dance anyways, right? Gets a bit slow in the middle when storys after storys start getting involved and you are like, 'oh come on, nothing new now please, lets get it done and tell me what happens in the end' types. Crop by about 15 minutes and you have a cracker.

Overall: A Definite Watch especially if you are from north india/delhi and don't mind free flowing dialogue delivery with crazily funny cuss words.

Feel-O-Meter: 8/10 (Although some might find it 7, 1 extra for the wise one liners )

PS: The last 10 minutes are absoltely kick ass. Do not miss :)

Doesn't the kala ghoda festival sound more like an orgy invite rather than an arts festival :P

To girlfriend: yeh tera zikr hai, ya itr hai.... To wife: yeh tera zikr hai, ya FIKR hai ;)