August 30, 2009

The problem is not when people expect a lot from you. The problem is when they STOP expecting!!!

August 29, 2009

Taali Do haathon se bajti hai dost, Ek haath se to bas Chaanta hi pad sakta hai!!!

August 28, 2009

Salman trying to buy an IPL Team : Das ka Dum se Gyarah ke Gham tak!!!

August 26, 2009

Tere Sang: Nah.. The 'Awww.. So Sweet' factor!!!

Its not the most pathetic movie of the year but still is pretty 'not good' (Intentionally NOT using 'BAD'). Credit goes to no dum in the script. Old treatment. Not one performance to mention about. Too much of preaching. Too much 'trying to be cute' masala. Too 'Kiddy-Mushy' for me. Although there are a few moments in the second half which are cute as well as touching but are too few and you seem to doze off waiting for those moments.

Plot: Its about how a teenage girl 'accidentally' becomes pregnant coz bacchon ko feel aa jati hai. Then the preaching part begins where they dont want to 'Kill' a child. Add to that Running away from home masala and mix it with the second half of 'maine pyar kiya' way where the guy tries hard to make a living for the 'love' of his life and the gal tries to manage the house (A few scenes are pretty nice too). And in the end it all ends with some amount of gyaan session for both the parents and the kids.

Performance: Both the kids are cute, but thats the end of it. (And I am sure they were cast for that quality too and not for their acting prowess, so no complaints there). The guy whatever his name is, is better(or rather less worse) than the gal. Both of them look damn sweet together too. Waise bhi, the movie is more about the 'moments' than the performances. It rests on creating that 'sweet' feel, which makes you go 'Awwwwwww'. Thats it

Technicals : Nope. Nothing to mention. Even so that i dont even remember anything about anything. Soundtrack is equally pathetic (Although i think 'Morey Saiyaan' is one of the best songs of the year). Absolutely nothing to mention about

Overall: If your girlfriend is one of those 'Awwwwwwww.. Thats so cute' types. Go ahead and watch it. She can watch the movie and you can watch her. ;-)

Feel-O-Meter: 5/10

PS: Do download Morey Saiyaan.. Its a FAB FAB song..

Sikandar: Not Impressed


I might be being too harsh on the kids, but the movie just dint do anything for me. It had a good storyline, gripping script and decent direction, but i guess the 'kids' were trying too hard to be 'grown up actors' Thats where the movie lost its innocence for me. Its another 'could have been' but 'couldnt' movie.

First start with the positives. Its has a very strong plot, which talks about a kid who accidentally finds a gun and ends up in the struggle between politicians, terrorists, spiritual leaders and the army. Nowhere in the movie i found it to be preaching about anything. It talks about terror from a kid's perspective (just that the kid seems to perform like a grown up). A couple of twists are indeed very surprising and when ever you feel a bit bored, the twist just retains you on your seat.

Technically, the camera work is pretty neat but i guess credit goes to kashmir's locales rather than the cinematographer himself. Direction is pretty solid too since he takes out pretty okay work from (non)actors like madhavan, sanjay suri etc. But I had the problem with the backgrouns score, It is too 'cute' for a terrorism based movie. It is not as dark as it could have (or rather should have) been. May be the usage of softer instruments (i dont know the names but they have a very 'stringy' and kashmiri feel to them) took away the effect. Serious scenes mein bhi soft type background.. Feel chali jati thi.

Performancewise, There is a cameo by one of the actors who plays a terrorist in the first half was the only performance that impressed me. That too, coz of his FAB kashmiri accent (may be he actually is a kashmiri). FAB.. Just FAB.. As already said earlier, The kids (Parzaan and Ayesha) both try to act like grown ups. The effect of being 'kid-stars' is very obvious in their performance. They seem to be 'acting' and not portraying 'characters'. (I know i am being too harsh on the kids but being honest in my opinion). Thats where the movie lost its charm for me. Had their been not known kids, i am sure it could have been a damn neat movie.

Overall : An Okayish watch if you dont have anything else to do. (Afterthought: Less than okayish watch actually)

Feel-O-Meter: 5/10

Life Partner: Not 'THAT' bad actually!!!

The movie is nothing great but its not bad either. Its a very normal movie but kinda funny too (in parts). Its not among those irritating comedies which try too hard and end up frustrating audience. It has a decent script with some quite a few funny punches here and there.

Well.. First things first,I am gonna keep it pretty short coz there is nothing 'great' to write. But ya, its not as bad as you might expect it to be. I expected it to be complete trash (and you cant blame me given the cast), but i was pleasantly surprised with the outcome. The movie infact is pretty okay and does not bore you anytime. Even the jokes are too old, still it works. May be its to do with Govinda's timing.

Although Govinda is a complete miscast on paper. Imagine, govind in his late 40s (or early 50s) playing a casanova kinda character with baalis in his ears.But you cant take away his timing. He still has it.

Plotwise, Its a comedy with a pinch of gyaan on how life changes after marriage and adjustments involved therein!!!! Its purely situational, nothing else

As far as performances are concerned, Govinda has done pretty well. Others obviously are not doing anything great (for the simple reason, that i don really think genelia, fardeen or tushar can act to save their lives, but thats a separate point i guess)

For me, a decent script with some quite funny dialogues and scenes did the trick.

Feel-O-Meterl : 6/10

PS: I went to watch it for Genelia and wasnt disappointed. She is a pathetic actress no doubt, but is just too cute otherwise.. ;-)

August 25, 2009

“Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.”- Elie Wiesel

August 22, 2009

Signs that ur online a bit too much # 3: You walk into a bar and notice the hottest chick around checking you out. You smile, walk upto her and say 'ASL plz'!!!

August 18, 2009

I think, therefore i am.... I Don't, therefore i-pill

The mathematicians never end up being good lovers.. The 'Ex' and 'Why' coordinates always spoil the fun!!!

August 15, 2009

Jashnn: Surprisingly 'Not Bad' at all.


Surprisingly, the movie is not bad at all. Its a very sweetly made movie. It has no tantrums, No Show off, No marketing gimmicks, No stars, No out of the box creativity, No path breaking script writing, No great technicians, Almost Nothing. But STILL the movie worked for me. Because there was an honesty by which the movie has been made, which you can feel. Its not a Fab movie on which you would generally spend money and watch it, but still its better than the recent kambakht ishqs and Luck crap!!

I know most of you wouldnt even bother about the review or the movie and also might think that why in the hell, would i go and watch 'this' movie. Some of you might think that batla has lost it that he is actually reviewing a bhatt camp movie. The reason is simple, i heard about it through a couple of hardcore movie buff kinda friends and got reasonably not bad reviews and ya, if i can tolerate kambakht ishq and luck, then things cant get worse anyways.

The movie has a very cute and sweet soul, it has no showey attitude about it. It doesnt promise out of the hill top that its the best movie ever made. It doesnt have ANY hype whatsoever associated(obviously with 'stars' like adhyayan suman and anjana sukhani). There are no good performances(again pretty obvious). Absolutely nothing extraordinary about it. Infanct, this ordinary thing worked for me. It had just no tantrums. It was a very simple story, already told like a zillion times and no new treatment also. But its just a sweet movie thats it.

Plotwise, Its a story already told a zillion times over. Take a a struggling singer trying to make his mark add to it a love story and an angry and powerful brother(of the girl ofcourse) who is trying to screw things up. The guy hits rock bottom and then rises to win a singing competition and wins the brother over too. Nothing new, Pretty predictable but still you dont feel like leaving the theater before the finish.

Performances also are very ordinary. I think thats where the problem with lies. Even though it has a pretty decent script, since the budget was tight(i assume), they 'couldnt' take any established actors and 'dint' take any FRESH talent. They just did with reasonably known(just known) free actors. Adhyayan Suman was the biggest problem with the movie. Poor guy just cant act to save his life. He tries soo hard and it appears on screen. You can feel that he is giving his best in every shot but may be even that is just not good enough. Anjana Sukhani(I understand most of you wouldnt even know who she is, not that it matters too) again is a non-actor so cant expect anything from her too. Even the other actors are just not good except shahana goswami who couldnt save the movie on her own since hers is more like a character role.

Some of the scenes are actually pretty good especially the scene where Adhyayan steals a woman's purse and gets caught. Also, when he later earns some money after sweeping floors and goes to pay off a restaurant manager who threw him out. You just need to learn to ignore the 'actors' and concentrate on 'characters'. As already said, Casting is the villain in the movie. Had the movie been made through a bigger banner or fresh 'stars', it could have been another 'Jaane tu' (Dont be surprised, i am very serious).

Music is pretty decent, not great for a 'music' movie. But pretty decent nonetheless. Compliments must be given to the new jodi of music directors sharib and toshi who incidentally have been singing reality show contestants!!

Overall, A Nice Script.Age Old Story. No Great performances. But Good Treatment. No Flashy Airy stuff. Just a plain simple straight from the heart movie. Watch it (if its still in cinemas) if you nothing better to do. (If you can watch Kambakht Ishq and Luck then might as well can sit through this as well)

Feel-O-Meter: 6/10

PS: Please make it again with a better casting. I will watch it again. ;-)

Kaminey: Fort Kut ya Chota Fortkut!!!

The expectations were huge. The build up was too much. The hype was great too. Full 'Feel' bhi thi but it dint turn out to be full 'Dhan te Naan'. Vishal started to make a tarantino and he did, but ended up (literally in the end) mixing it with priyadarshan. Damn good script and dialogues have been written immaculately and delivered equally well. A Good watch but not a Vishal bhardwaj masterpiece. I think in order to do too much, the movie ended up not being 'up there' but just falls short of it, but even then it is FAB.. Damn FAB.. I just wish that the ending was a bit 'less filmy'

My heart breaks when i write anything negative about it but gotta mention the weak points too. The critics i guess are not writing about the negatives, since criticizing a vishal bhardwaj can outcast you big time. It IS damn good even now but promised to be much much more. It had all the ingredients. Gripping Script. Amazing Story. Phenomenal Actors. Great technicals and Crazy Background score.. EVERYTHING.. But the movie loses its direction a couple of times and just falls short of being as pathbreaking as it promises to be. Bas yaar, ending change kar ke ek baar aur release kar do. I will watch it 100 times over.

Its about two brothers one who stammers and the other who has a lisp, who cant stand each other's sight. There are sub plots, a mushy love story, more than 10 different characters with their own pursuits and a plot that brings all of them together.

The first half is a bit slow but its justified. Its more like a play than a movie. It explains every character in detail and gives full bhaav to all the characters, not only to the 'hero-heroine' types. I guess thats why even after the movie is finished, you still remember ALL the characters. It builds up for a cracking second half.

The second half begins with a bang and delivers full throttle. Edge of the seat excitement and phenomenal work by all the characters AND the actors. But just when it reached THE level, priyadarshan and guy ritchie take over. The greatest movies have the best of the endings, and thats where the problem lies.

In order to mix humour with drama, he tends to dilute the intensity of the movie. He brings all the characters at one place and kills them all, which i thought was a phenomenal idea. Another Godfather i guess. But the problem was with the treatment, he leaves scrosese and tries to do a priyadarshan (hera-pheri, malamaal weekly, hungama types). I would have loved him to do a Godfather or even a Lock, Stock.. could have been great but sigh.. All the build up goes out when 'filmy' comedy takes over and add to it a tottal filmy 'new twins birth'.

Performances to SABKI todu hai specially the surprise package from Amol Gupte (Taare zameen par fame), Chandar and Shiv Subramanyam. Priyanka is Fab too. Shahid i guess was good but doesnt do a saif(omkara). Sexy ensemble of cast but i wish in place of shahid if he had taken somebody else. Cant think of who but i have that feel somehow.

Music toh has already been discussed everywhere, almost ALL the songs are phenomenal, whether its Dhan Te Naan, Fatak, Pehli baar mohabbat or Kaminey. Every track is Fab. Just superb

Technically, the camera work is damn neat but goes a bit blurry and shaky in a few close shots, but may be thats because Vishal wanted that effect. Background score is just like another character which maintains the pace of the movie from start to finish. Script and Dialogues to Bhayankar roop se Todu hai boss!!!

Overall, The movie is damn damn neat.. But just loses its focus in the end, i sooo wish that vishal had taken a scorsese-ish stance than a priyadarshan-ish. Even a Guy ritchie could have been pretty neat. Change the ending and i wish watch it 100 times over..

Feel-O-Meter: 7.5/10 (-2.0 for the ending and -0.5 for a somewhat slow first half, Rest ALL's good)

August 13, 2009

The Economics of Relationships

1. The Marginal Utility of the girlfriend goes down once the chase is over and done with and is inversly propotional with the time spent with each other.

2. After the status is changed to committed, the guy always moves to a higher 'indifference' curve

3. There is always an opportunity cost associated with the decision to get in or out of a relationship(which always seems to be wrong later, no matter what your choice has been)

4. 'Production Possibility Frontier' of the neighbouring college always seems to be higher in terms of quality of girls there in.

5. The guy in the BMW will always have a 'comparative advantage' over you

6. There is always perfect competition when you are the 'nerd' kinds.

7. The 'EX' and the 'WHY' coordinates always spoil the plotting of the graphs.

8. 'Capital' is more appropriate for production(or reproduction) as a resource than 'Labour'

9. If the price offered is higher, the 'supply' curve will always shift outwards

10. There is ALWYAS a demand supply mismatch. What you demand is short in supply and what is available is what you dont want.

August 11, 2009

New York: Pretty Decent


Well.. I dint have many expectations especially after the disastorous kabul express. Moreover, Katrina Kaif, John Abraham and Neil Nitin Mukesh are definitely not the 'actors' who have impressed me in any way. But i was pleasantly surprised to say the least. The storyline is nothing new, performances are not that great but still the movie scores for me. Nicely shot, simple movie which doesnt do too much of 'experimentation'. Go to the theater, Watch, Enjoy and Come back types. nothin more nothin else. Definitely a must watch, atleast once.

Plotwise, its an extension of khuda kay liye and talks abt the treatment of muslims post 9/11 in the US and how the brutal mental and physical torture in the name of interrogation leads an otherwise 'normal' guy to take up terrorism. Take that and Add to it a hint of Departed where the cops send an infiltrator(who incidentally is the terrorist's friend) to spy for them. And ya, thoda sa love triangle ka tadka and perfect masala movie with a difference ready to be served.

Performancewise, I give full credit to Kabir Khan!!! I never thought i would actually be happy with the performances of any of the three actors in any of the movies ever in life. But i think Kabir has taken out Fab work from all the three. John and Katrina are damn neat, they dont look like the 'model types' in any of the sequences. As far as Neil Nitin Mukesh is concerned, I have always had a problem with his voice. He just doesnt sound right ever. But nonetheless, does a decent job. Irfan Khan as usual is pretty amazing and does justice to his character

As far as Direction is concerned, although the movie looks like a hollywood ripoff(The shots are so similar to any of the A list hollywood movies and i mention this as a compliment). In no shot you get the 'bollywood' feel. But the frisk scene where the cop 'feels' Katrina is a striaght lift from a movie(Crash if i am not wrong). Overall Top class work. Be it the arial shots in the opening sequence or the tight shots in the emotional scenes. Good job there.

The script is very tight and never gives you a dull moment. From the very first shot you are engrossed in the movie(even though the story is quite predictable), the chemistry between the three friends has been portrayed very neatly, you actually start feeling like 'part of the gang'. Although i thought the love triangle bit was not required. But what the heck. I like it anyways

Overall: The movie is very well made and shot, with a tight script, pretty decent performances from 'non-actors'. It has its moments of ups and downs and scores in the end. The plot and a few scenes seem too 'inspired' but a good watch nonetheless, atleast once. Go for it. IF you have not seen it already!!

Feel-O-Meter: 7/10

August 9, 2009

Luck: Yuck!!!!


Are you 'lucky'? Yes, if you are shot in chest on the left side and the doctor declares, 'you are so lucky, your heart is not on the left but on the right side'!!!! I dont have the words to describe the disgustful 'feel' that i have for this trash. I fail to understand how bad a movie can be made. Do film makers think that hollywood 'inspired' stunts is ALL that the indian audience is looking for?? I think the movie had everything but story, script, direction, performance, music and... may be a couple of more things!!! Pathetic to the Core. If somebody pays you to watch it.. Run and Hide.. Thats it..

One of the worst movies since kambakht ishq!!! The movie has absolutely nothing to offer. I still am not sure why Sanjay Dutt still does shitty movies like this. He has enough money i guess. He doesnt need to act to survive if i am not wrong. Or else, what in the world could be the reason for his appearance in this piece of trash.

Plot: Whats that?? I dont think there IS a plot. I am sure one fine day the director would have woken up feeling 'lucky' and next day started shooting, thinking that if they actually are 'lucky' the script writer would write something good during the shoot, actors might act well, and ya.. if they are TOOOOO lucky, there could be a few people who might ACTUALLY pay for a ticket and watch this movie. The movie talks about 'the luck factor' in normal people's life. A 'lucky' gangster brings some other 'lucky' people together and runs an international racket of 'luck games' which include shooting the other one with one bullet in the gun(full gabbar singh style), jumping off an airplane with a bag (it may or may not contain a parachute, depending on your 'luck'), finding a key out of 300 which might be able to save you from a couple of sharks in the sea, and ya.. my favorite.. The doctor telling you that you have been shot point blank in the left part of your chest but hoooray, you are soo lucky that your heart is on the right side!!!!

Performance: WTF!!! Imran Khan, Shruti Hassan, Ravi kisshen(!!!!) cant act to save their lives. God knows whats wrong with Sanju Baba that he is not able to find good work. Pleeease for god's sake get over the sanjay gupta trash genre.

Technicals: Just some hollywood 'inspired' stunts which leave you 'yawning' rather than go 'ohhh thats some action'. No cinematography. No sense of direction (or purpose). ABBOSLUTELY nothing to mention

Music: Equally pathetic (except 'khudaya re' which obv doesnt fit into the movie, but is Ammmmazing) There is a cacophony of Luck aazmaa(Rock as well as the normal version) again and again. once again, Absolutely pathetic

Overall : If somebody offers you a free ticket (plus money for popcorn). Dont fall for it. Its a TRAP and the person might be looking to force you to commit a suicide in the theater. Just turn the other way. Run and Hide

Feel-O-Meter : 1/10 (1 for the khudaya number)

State of Play : The usual 'Pretty Good' Politico-Journo Drama!!


Well. Take Kevin Macdonald(Director : The last king of scotland), Russel Crowe, Ben Affleck, Helen Mirren, Rachel Mcadams in a political drama. What do you expect? A Cracker of a movie. Thats where the problem is, the movie in isolation is pretty good. Gripping performances, A Tight Script, Nice Technicals, Everything (Almost).. But still lacks that special 'feel'. So turns out to be another above average movie.

Plotwise, its a political thriller about a rising congressman (affleck) and an investigative journalist (russel) embroiled in a case of brutal murders, with the usual twists and turns, add to that a few surprises (which are not the usual over the top or 'Wattt,Oh come on' types). The congressman talks about morality but is cheating on his wife!! It also deals with the ethical dilemma that crowe goes through while segregating his professional and personal lives.

Performance wise, No surprises here. Russel delivers a powerpacked performance. His grip on all the characters he plays is just unbelievable. Maybe we are seeing another pacino or brando in the making. Ben is the usual 'okay' kinds and there are no others who actually stir up any emotions.

Technically, i think Kevin has done a Fab job in not going over the top in terms of anything from camera work to lighting or anything else. The shots are crisp and close. Another point worth mentioning is the background score that moves in tandem with the movie's pace and actually facilitates the narration.

Overall, a 'pretty good' movie, which neither stirs up any emotions or is path breaking in any way. The usual 'good movie' types. I dont even know if its been released in India or not. So Grab a DVD if you can. A one time must watch

Feel-O-Meter: 7/10

Signs that ur online a bit too much # 3: You walk into a bar and notice the hottest chick around checking you out. You smile, walk upto her and say 'ASL plz'!!! ;-)

August 8, 2009

Love Aaj Kal: Refreshing Indeed

The movie is about the thin line that every (or rather almost every) youngster goes through. The line between 'being in a relationship' and 'being in love'. The movie breaks 'the guy meets gal. they fall in love. some troubles.. dishum dishum.. twists.. and they live happily ever after' clutter and provides a fresh breather. Its not a soooper movie with great performances with dhinchak technicals, but it does have a tight script and that 'feel good factor' which leaves a stupid smile on your face when you walk out of the theater.

Plot wise, The movie deals with the difference between the 'Love Fundamentals of 'Aaj' Vs 'Kal'. The movie starts with post break up scenario between saif and deepika wherein both are just 'friends' and claim to have 'moved on' from the relationship. Add to it a parallel (not really) track of a flashback romance between a young Rishi Kapoor(dont get confused: Played by Saif himself) and Harleen(A 'Brazillian' punjaabi kudi). There are twists and turns and realizations of movement from 'relationship' to 'love' and everyone lives happily ever after.. Phew!!!

Performance wise, (Obviously) Saif and Deepika disappoint. If you replace both of them with two 'Potatoes' the movie wont be any different because its not about the performance prowess of any of the characters. Since i dint expect any of them to deliver a power packed performance, i was not disappointed. As already established. The movie is not about actors or even characters, its about the situations and realizations.

Technically, i think Imtiaz has done a Fab job when it comes to the sepia-toned 'kal' story. I think it just fits perfectly with the script as well as the timeline. The tone distinguishes the current plot from the past as well as eliminates the confusion that could have arisen from the continuous current vs past tracks.
One think worth mentioning here is the use of Saif as Rishi Kapoor's younger version. Most people i spoke with seemed to have a problem with that. But i guess they miss a very crucial point, Rishi says that Saif reminds him of his younger self and Rishi himself is the one narrating his story, so its pretty obvious that he sees saif in his own flashback. Confusing but has been taken up very well.

Music is just out of the world. Take ANY track and you are gonna love it. From 'aahun aahun' which just simply doesnt go out of your head no matter how hard you try to the mushy 'dooriyaan'. EACH and every song blends perfectly in the narrative.

Overall, a must watch (atleast for every individual who is confused with the concept of 'love' and 'relationships' and the difference therein). Dont expect great performances, but a sweet story with no zabardasti ka mush-wush, Superb direction, Decent technicals, Great Music, A tight script and Gripping Narrative.. Imtiaz all the way from my side..

Feel-O-Meter: 8.5/10


Food for thought: Would Ranbir had been a better choice (if the money was not provided by Saif!!) to play the lead. Hmm.. For one, He is dating Deepika(so chemistry). Second, He is Rishi kapoor's son so HE playing HIS younger version would have been more realistic(Mind you, Neetu Singh also plays Rishi's wife in the movie). Third, The movie has a very 'fresh and young feel' which i dont think Saif does justice to.

Vodafone's Busy Caller Tune Advertisement: Ammazing.. Simple but yet delivers so well..

August 6, 2009

All good things come to an end and All Bed things cum in the end!!!