Sherlock Holmes- A Game of Shadows: Masala Detective

Well the not so awaited sequel of the 2009 guy ritchie interpretation of sherlock holmes hits the theater and provides the masala and entertainment value, but doesn't do justice to either the plot or the original sherlock holmes. Ritchie packs up a single line plot with too much action, too many jokes, too many matrix-y slow motion action sequences and far too loud (and absolutely not necessary) Hans Zimmer Score. If Cheap laughs, 'coolness', Masala are your cup of tea, you will enjoy it but if you are one of those purists who despised Ritchie's interpretation (or misinterpretation) of the victorian era detective in the last installment, then its better to be prepared first and not expect a mystery but an action comedy. Watchable nonetheless.

Ritchie's Interpretation of the detective is no where close to the original version by Sir Doyle. His Sherlock is more of a cool, full of attitude, eccentric action hero rather than an astute detective. He believes more in brawn than brain. And to be honest, you can see a lot of Iron Man in Downey's portrayal. There is too much coolness to his portrayal. Its entertaining no doubt and provides you a full paisa vasool but is not in line with what the original sherlock would have been.

Movie revolves around a certain Prof Moriarty who wants to spark off a world war in 1891 so that he could make money by supplying arms to different nations. Sherlock and his just married sidekick Dr Watson need to stop him from doing so with the help of a gypsy woman. Jared Harris is the pick of the lot for me for his straight faced cold blooded portrayal of prof moriarty. RD entertains through out the movie with his slapstick, drag avatars and a supposedly funny take on the detective, but seems too far from the original character. The portrayal is so distant that ritchie could have easily called him by other name and the movie would remain exactly the way it is.

Though the movie drags in the first half, the last 20 minutes or so provide total paisa vasool entertainment with a right mix of action and comedy with a dash of hollywood masala and you forget about the flaws in the plot or the character portrayal, relax and enjoy. Though I'm not quite sure why Ritchie chose the matrix-y fast-super slow motion style action. It looks good but totally out of context. Also, from the first scene onwards you think the soundtrack has a big Dark Knight hangover and you start wondering if the score is by Hans and about 15 minutes in the movie and you are confirmed. Its too loud for the setting and there is absolutely no correlation between what's happening on screen and what's playing in the background. Hans has done a brilliant job in making a killer background score but it's just not for this movie. May be the third installment in the dark knight series (if it comes out) or an inception sequel but definitely not for sherlock holmes.

Overall: Watchable if you want to sit back and enjoy a masala hollywood portrayal of the classic detective. Not inline with the character but definitely entertaining.

Feel-O-Meter: 7/10

Jhukta wahi hai jisme jaan hai. Akadna to murde ki pehchaan hai :)

Ladies Vs Ricky Bahl: Story Vs Bollywood 6/10

Though I had seen the movie almost 2-3 weeks back, but didn't find time to update it. Ladies Vs Ricky Bahl is quite an entertaining movie, especially in the first half but loses its steam when the director HAS TO introduce a Love Story in a typical Bollywood fashion. The performances though not award winning are pretty decent from all the cast members. Music definitely is a plus point. Screen play is pretty interesting in the first half and drags in the second. Dialogues are pretty corny. Parineeti Chopra brings a freshness to the overall feel of the film. Overall, a sweet li'l Watchable movie though nothing fabulous to write home about. Recommended.

Ladies Vs Ricky Bahl suffers from the problem so typical of bollywood. We just can't tell stories as they are. We have to have to introduce a corny love story somewhere in the end and have that all's well happy ending. The movie is about a conman who specializes in robbing women after making them fall in love with his drop dead good looks (Yes, its Ranveer Singh we are talking about here) and charm. 3 of his shikaars come together and hire Anushka Sharma to con him this time to get their money back. Pretty Interesting till this point right? Yes, but now add the usual twist to the story. The girl supposed to con him falls in love with him and he also is passionately in love with her. So much so that he's ready to leave all his galad dhandhaas coz of this. Why this sudden change? Nobody knows. Oh yeah, may be coz they made out one time.

On the performance front, Parineeti Chopra was my pick of the lot (And that has nothing to do with her looking scaringly close to one of my ex girlfriends :P ). Though not the best looking of the lot but She definitely was the freshest and cutest.. Her comic timing too was almost perfect and the boring scenes came to life with her typical punjabi kudi performance. Others were just about okay even Ranveer Singh. So no problems there.

Music was pretty hummable and full marks to Salim Suleiman yet again to keep the audience's interest alive when the movie was dragging. There are certain nice twists and turns in the script especially in the first half and the con jobs have been written quite well. So full marks there too.And As already established, the movie suffers from being too bollywood-y in the second half. Lead couple ending up making out after a song and THEN hopelessly falling in love was definitely where the script would have allowed in a good movie but yeah, Yeh sab to karna hi padega na.

Overall: A Pretty Decent Movie though drags in the second half due to too much of bollywood-y treatment. Recommended for a One time watch

Feel-O-Meter: 6/10

Mission Impossible- Ghost Protocol: Same old Adrenaline Rush

MI: GP, the 4th instalment in the MI series is absolutely fantastic as far as picturization, choreography of the stunt sequences, bigger settings, Meaner Chase sequences and also provide a humour backdrop in the tense situations which we haven't really seen before in the franchise. But may be the brand MI is its own enemy, When you walk into the theater having seen the earlier 3 installments, you kinda already expect all that and unless something extra ordinary happens, you 'like' the movie not 'love' it. Its great as a stand alone movie but left me wanting for something extra. I have already seen world at the brink of a nuclear explosion which has to be stopped in the last 3 seconds, so i was kinda disappointed there. Nothing new to offer though a couple of sequences were very 'Oh My god-ish'. Must Watch nonetheless (Though that seems like a no brainer especially when i'm writing the review almost 2 weeks later) if you haven't already.

Okay, I'm sure you are confused with the title of the note, Right? It doesn't tell you clearly whether its a good movie or just another installment in a super successful spy-fi franchise and If you have been reading my reviews, you would agree that this is definitely not how I describe movies. There are movies which I like or there are movies that I hate. There are not many movies that leave me confused. But this is definitely one of them. Everything is great on paper as well as on the screen. There are hardly any scenes which i did not like and every action sequence has something new to offer but there is still something that was not there. There is hardly anything which hasn't been seen already, the high rise falls (though this time its from a 160 storey world's tallest building Burj Khalifa), The Gadgets (though this time, they may be out of warranty to provide some goofiness/forced oh my god moments), or the Car chases (though this time, they are in a sandstorm). So there are incremental changes here and there but overall it still remains the usual adrenaline pumping spy-fi thriller as seen in the  last 3 instalments.

The plot (if you care) is the same old nuclear attack by a scientist who wants to put Russia and US at war front, has a detonating device with him. Gets the codes to launch the attach and has to be stopped at any cost to prevent the usual 'End of the World' as we know it. Cliched? Absolutely. But the difference lies in the execution of a cliched plot and in this case, though it definitely has been done in the action sequences but the changes are more incremental in nature rather than 'Reinventing the Wheel' stuff. Everthing remains mostly the same as any other hollywood spy-fi but adds a 10% to it. If you are a Bourne or a Bond fan, then what you should look for is, just a couple of sequences which have a slight twist compared to the usual. Two or Three Sequences at Max and to me the whole chase through out the movie did not put anything new to the table.

So in the end, I am left confused, whether i lovee the movie or I hate it and this time around its neither. Its just another Adrenaline Pumping (in a few sequences) Spy-Fi Installment of the MI franchise which though travels the distance but doesn't take you anywhere long. A Definite Watch but if you have seen it all, don't expect something which can 'wow' you.

Feel-O-Meter: 7/10

The Dirty Picture: Only Dirt, No Picture

The Dirty Picture is yet another example of a good story wasted by not being true to the product but bothering too much about the masala to make it a success. The movie has a very solid performance by Vidya Balan (sans her ample and absolutely not hot cleavage show) but offers almost nothing else. The sleaze is over done. The dialogues are Jhel. The pace is slow and does not do justice to the 'emotional appeal' of the movie. The director just trivialized the subject due to incorporating too much bollywood masala and lost the soul of the movie in all the hulla gulla. Give it a miss. Wait for it to release on Tata Sky instead.

TDP is loosely based on Silk Smitha's life as a south siren who attained a cult status in regional movies due to her 'bindaas' attitude, her relationship with men and her downfall later. The plot in itself is pretty interesting given the lack of 'inspired from real life' scripts in bollywood and obviously you have some expectations while walking in the cinema hall. Add to it, Vidya Balan and all the ho halla around her weight gain and the sleazy avatar she adorns. Add Naseeruddin Shah and Milan Luthria and the expectations rise even further. But the movie hardly delivers on any counts.

Vidya does a fabulous job especially in the last 15 minutes of the movie portraying a 'once the hottest property in south' falling into depression and spending her life in loneliness. Naseeruddin Shah is just his old reflection of good work. Tusshar is as pathetic as his earlier work and Emraan is as intolerable as earlier. But you can't have a single actor take all the burden no matter how strong the shoulders are (yes, we are talking literally here). Also, only in the last 15 minutes you seem to start connecting with the lead character and it's too late. Those 10-15 minutes are the only few minutes worth watching but since you have spent 2 hours tolerating the non sense, you are not in a mood to appreciate anything and ya, those last moments also have a stupid sufi song cropping from god knows where. May be the director suddenly recalled, he had to tick the 'Put a Sufi Song in the CD' checkbox and put the song in the movie at the last moment.

The biggest problem for me, was not being true to the story and just losing in the sleaze for majority of the length. Full first half is wasted in showing Vidya's Cleavage and trust me, it ain't a treat to watch. Every single shot, she is bending over to leave nothing to one's imagination, courtesy a high fat diet for the past 6 months and a bulk shipment of wonderbra. There is nothing taking you away from it, no matter how hard you try and it IS irritating after the first 10 minutes. Dear Milan, you need to understand that we get the point of her going to any lengths (except prostitution. which i guess is only to avoid any legal battles) and using her assets to bag roles in the movies, pretty early in the narrative. You don't have to keep harping on the same thing for full first half. The movie just doesn't move anywhere. There is just shot after shot of her sleazy item songs and nothing else.

The director falls into the same trap that the directors that he portrays in the movie. Though he is trying to criticize the directors for portraying women as sex objects, he does exactly the same here as well. Scene After Scene, Shot after Shot and it doesn't help that its Vidya too. Had there been any other 'actual' hot property, may be it could have worked, but not in her case. Secondly, once you understand that she herself took her decisions and was not forced into this lustful world of stardom, you don't seem to empathize with her as well. Once the emotional connect is lost, you don't really care what happens with her. Even if the director wanted to engross the audience through the 'oh poor girl' card, he couldn't because the story wouldn't have allowed him to.

Overall, A could have been much better movie, lost in the sleaze trap with no emotional connect with the lead actor, no support from the co-actors, very few 'moving' sequences and snail paced narrative. Not Recommended.

Feel-O-Meter: 4/10

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Desi Boyz: Movie Banayi Jhakk Maar Ke 2/10

First things first, I was not planning to watch it but was bored at the weekend and to be honest, the songs were pretty catchy. I reached the hall 10 minutes late and was bored to death in the next 10. Spent the next hour and a half in hope that it would become 'less worse' but it didn't. The movie offers nothing more than the usual NRI movies with bright colors in the background, nice fashionable clothes, a song or two to hum along and... That's about it I guess. One Line Story. Pathetic Script. Stupid and Corny Dialogues. No sense of Direction or performance. Overall, a BAD BAD film. Don't watch it. Download the songs and enjoy in your car Instead. 2/10

The movie is about 2 friends who don't have or lost their job due to recession. They take up a job as male escorts. The girlfriend of one finds out and 30% of the movie is spent in his stupid antics to woo her back. Another 30% is wasted in the other friend's 'Let's Go Back to College and complete my education' pursuit. Yes, That's it. Nothing else. No twists or turns. Nothing Interesting. Just a flat story.

To be honest, i am too bored to even criticize the movie. Its actually a futile exercise to even write a review about a movie that bad. I mean, if the movie is actually THIS bad then how do you even motivate yourself to write about it. Anyways, Both John and Akshay ham their way through the movie and they suck at it too. Dear Akshay, I can't seem to remember a movie after Hera Pheri where you were funny, So let's just stick to Action Please. And John, Why can't you just stick to being a model or a WWE Wrestler perhaps. Chitrangada tries to look hot but she doesn't come across as the 'hot' types. She is the pretty one. Deepika, Let's just not talk about her. She is just the same as in all other movies. Unnoticeable . Anupam Kher, Well yes, he is there and i am sure he still has no idea what he was doing in the movie.

The Script seems stretched even for its 2 hour length. Can you imagine, the director even lifted a sequence from 'Funny Advertisements' videos on youtube!! I mean seriously? Get a Life Dude.. Since there was nothing to offer in the script or in narration, the director infact introduces 2-3 characters for no apparent reason just to stretch the movie to its minimum bollywood length of 2 hours. But i guess he needs to understand that KJO-NRI genre is not only about  Introducting Bright Red/Yellow/Blue/Greens in the backgrounds or in the lead actor/actress' dresses. Oh wait, may be it is. Nevermind. 

On the Good front, well a couple of songs are hummable/danceable. And... Well, that's about it i guess. There is nothing else that i remember i guess. Oh yes, The End Credits were entertaining too. But to reach there you will have to go through the 2 hour ordeal. So not worth it i tell you.

Overall: A BAD movie. Period. Don't Watch it

Feel-O-Meter: 2/10

2020: Tom cruise casts Bobby Darling as the lead actor in the sixth mission impossible movie. Calls it. AM I 6 ??

Rockstar: Misses more than a few notes

Rockstar is one those movies, which had the potential to change the course of cinema in 'bollywood', but didn't. One of the most prominent storyline, excellent director, brilliant music, ace cinematographper, pretty decent performances but the movie just seems to be incomplete. Every chapter seems incomplete. The whole movie seems to pass in the 'ab kuch hoga' hope, but the chapter gets over and you are like. Bass, ho gya. Itna eech? And you move onto the next chapter and the same thing is repeated. Though not to mention, it is definitely not a bad movie. Pretty Gripping throughout its 2 hour 40 minute length. You do get bored a couple of times, but then it comes on track pretty quickly. Good performance by Ranbir and 4-5 absolutely amazing songs make it a definite watch, but yes, if you are expecting a Dev D. You'll be disappointed. Watch it nonetheless.

Rockstar is the story of Janardan Jakhad (Jordan) who wants be a singer but is not able to, since he hasn't felt pain in life or love. So he wants that pain in the heart. He goes and gets his heart broken but doesn't work. He becomes friends with Heer (Nargis Fakhri). Then the usual, friends falling in love. The girl gets married. He wants to meer her again. They meet again. Ger separated again. Then Meet again. During, this milna bichadna Jordan becomes a rockstar. Now he has everything but nothing since Heer is not there. And the movie revolves around this theme till the end.

First, the goods. Ranbir delivers a pretty good performance. No Award winning material here, but he doesn't Not look the part. He absolutely feels like a rockstar in his avatar. Though his north indian jaat thing didn't work for me (may be coz I am from North Campus and can relate to these types and trust me Ranbir didn't come close) and hams in a few scenes, he absolutely rocked in the rockstar sequences especially when he is struggling with his dilemma. He does well in his limitations and you feel him playing the part pretty close to what it was supposed to be. Rahman's music (espeicially Kun Faaya Kun, Sadda Haq, Jo bhi Main) and Mohit Chauhan's vocals are a definite asset to the narrative. These songs typically make you ignore some of the silly hiccups in the scripts. You forget the problems here and there, and move on after one of these songs are played. Imtiaz does a pretty good job in the 'treatment' of the script especially when he uses the back and forth technique. He goes back to a scene and then explains what happened. Though it is kinda confusing because when the scene was supposed to take place, he just takes it forward and explains it later when he actually comes back. Though interesting way of telling a story but Too Experimental sometimes it gets and you are like 'Pehle hi dikha deta bhai'.

Now the bads. The Biggest problem i found with the movie was the incompleteness of the plots. Whenever a chapter is going on. You are like, 'Ab kuch hoga. Ab kuch hoga' and it doesn't happen. When it does, it happens so abruptly that you are like 'Arey aise kaise?' Every chapter does not seem to complete itself and the movie moves on to the next one. For eg. Janardan is attending Heer's wedding and suddenly he is back in delhi and the chapter ends. He is not 'heartbroken' and suddenly becomes attains this demi-god rockstar status. He is angry with the people at large but the movie does not provide sufficient reason or heightened hatred as a push towards the same. You are like, 'he was pretty alright in the last scene right? Then suddenly what happened?' There are too many 'Whys' in the audience's mind which can never be good. Every Chapter should end at a particular height and doesn't. You will understand once you watch it.

Second problem is Nargis Fakhri. She can't act to save her life and to be honest, i don't understand this rage about her hotness. To be honest, she is just like another kashmiri girl and i'm sure you'll find a million of such girls in colleges across the country. Nothing special either about her looks and especially about her acting. She makes Katrina Kaif look like Meena Kumari. Almost Irritating throughout the movie. Thirdly, though i mentioned 4-5 songs are amazing, but there are 4-5 other songs which have neither relevant to the narrative nor are any good to listen to. They seem to take up around 30 minutes of your time and had they not been there, Imtiaz could have ended the chapters smoothly.

Overall: A Decent One Time Watch But do not expect anything pathbreaking or coming of age bollywood stuff.

Feel-O-Meter: 5/10

The Adventures of Tintin: Don't Expect Magic

What do you expect when you get to know that Steven Spielberg is directing a movie produced by Peter Jackson based on one of the best selling and most popular comic book character of all times? A Lot Right? That's exactly where the movie suffers. Too many expectations and too little to offer. Though in any other case, the movie could have been a pretty good watch. But when you hear names like SS and PJ, you don't want a pretty good watch. You want a kick ass movie and this is not one of those. Superb Motion Capture Animation does not compensate for a pretty straightforward plot and lack of excitement in the storyline. A One Time watch for the tintin fans especially if you are under 10, Avoid otherwise.

Tintin, as most would be aware is one of the largest selling comic book series in the world. This movie is a combination of three comic books called The Crab with the Golden Claws, The Secret of the Unicorn and Red Rackham's Treasure. TinTin buys a replica of a ship drowned three hundred years ago by some pirates. But someone wants to take it from him. The ship replica is actually one of the three identical ships which hold clues to a treasure sunk in the ocean. The movie has a few subplots but the main storyline revolves around tintin's adventures in search of the hidden treasure with his dog snowy and captain haddock.

Let me clarify one thing here, that i have neither read any of the comic books nor am i fan of the series. So i am only giving my views on the basis of the movie itself and has nothing to do with the franchise itself. So, actual tintin fans might notice a few details, which i was not in any position to comprehend. Now Coming to the good part first. The Animation in the movie (actually called motion capture, where real life actors shoot a sequence and then animated characters are superimposed later on ) is one of the best i have ever seen. Its almost as if you are watching a live action movie rather than animation. The characters are life like and expressions are just about perfect. There are a couple of sequences which provide that edge of the seat excitement and have that 'OMG appeal'. Captain Haddock and the Thomson twins are quite funny in parts.

But, that's where the good part ends. The movie does not live up to the excitement created by a tintin adventure. Its comes across as just another Pirates of the carribean with motion capture animation. There are a couple of scenes which are exciting but are far and few. You keep waiting for something adventurous to happen, it takes place for 30 seconds and you again wait for around 20 minutes for the next 30 seconds. The movie does not provide a roller coaster ride, you expect out of an 'adventure' movie. There are hardly any suspense or thriller points scored. The not great 3D effects don't do any good to the movie as well. It just doesn't seem like its directed by SS. Though SS has done its job, its the script and lack of overall excitement that leaves the audience yawning for a pretty reasonable length of the movie.

Overall: Watchable, if you are a tintin fan or are under 10 years of age. But doesn't offer any OMG factor especially when you hear names by SS and PJ

Feel-O-Meter: 5/10

In Time: Brilliant Concept, Ordinary Execution

In time is the new sci-fi flick with an absolutely kick ass storyline and has the 'cool' factor but suffers on the direction, screenplay and performances front. As soon as the movie begins, you are absorbed in the plot and start feeling the OMG-ishness of the plot. You are like damn, what a neat concept, why didnt anybody else think about it before. What happened to the nolans, jacksons or the spielbergs of the world. Then the story moves, you are kinda feeling OK, so what's next? That's where the problems start, The concept seems too big for the movie itself. The story hardly moves, the performances (especially JT) are pretty slick but nothing inspiring or out of box. The Screenplay doesn't quite offer the ups and downs the plot deserves. The movie seems quite flat for its own expectations. You seem to keep promising yourself, that NOW something's gonna happen, NOW there would a turn of events, but sadly nothing happens. Overall, the movie is pretty decent for a one time watch because of the uniqueness of the plot and the cool factor but then the treatment plays the spoilsport and you seem to be wanting for more. Wish a bigger director had taken up the project and given it the scale it deserved.

The plot revolves around a one line concept, "Time is Money". In the near future, time IS money, literally. You stop ageing after 25 years, and can only live for an year. You have a stop watch on your wrist, which shows the time left for you. The Time also works like a currency. So you have to buy time to keep alive,and pay for the things you consume be it a bus ride or a coffee through time. So, if you are poor, you are bound to die sooner than your time, coz you have to spend the time you have to spend the time left in your life ! The Rich can live forever, coz they have more time and they keep earning more time. Justin is one the poor, who meets a 'fed up with his life' person with a hundred years with him, gives him his hundred and commits a suicide. The Time Keepers (police) seem to think, JT killed the guy and are after him. JT meets a millionaire's daughter and the usual love story starts to move. Suddenly, JT becomes this evangelist, who wants to rob the rich and give the time to the poor.

The good part about the movie as already mentioned, is its plot. The whole idea of time being money is just too awesome. You are like, damn why didnt i think of the same. This is just plain brilliant. But, that's where the problems begin. The first half an hour raises your expectations pretty high. You start expecting a Matrix but which is not gonna happen. A single dimension storyline, unimaginitive direction, weak screenplay, no OMG moments, just about okay performance and hardly any edge of the seat excitement, makes the movie ending in disappointment. There were no kick ass action sequences or creative visual effects. Not to mention, that it is still a pretty decent one time watch.

Overall: Don't expect anything pathbreaking in terms of cinema but still a One Time Watch for its concept and the 'cool'ness.
 

Ra.One: Brave and Almost Tolerable 5/10

Okay, If you are one of those who haven't seen the movie but are writing funny updates, crappy comments, are indulging in SRK bashing, please continue the same but would suggest you to watch the movie as well. Also, I am not at an SRK fan and believe that he should stick to his Rahul/Raj stints in KJo movies, but still its not AS BAD as you would have thought. It IS a bad movie with overdose of SuperSRKism all over, preaches throughout most length, runs amok all over, is not focused and is totally confused, bad acting, pathetic background score, is stuck in the 70s, tries very hard to make you laugh though is unsuccesful etc etc, BUT it is a very brave attempt and atleast on the technology front it doesn't disgrace us on an international platform. The movie had its soul in the right place, has a strong plot but honestly SRK screwed a 'could have been a decent' movie. Ignore the emotional drama, pathetic jokes and most importantly SRK himself, and you would be a bit less disappointed.

First and the foremost, Ii am not going to indulge in mindless criticism of the movie and would also discuss its positives as well, Yes Surprisingly the movie is not as bad as you would have heard and has some positives too.  Secondly, i must clarify that I had absolutely no plans to watch this movie, but was curious after reading soo many people criticizing it. It was as if it had become fashionable to criticize it suddenly (Just like it was fashionable to praise Salman after dabangg or to share Rajni Jokes), so i thought i must watch it to atleast make an informed call or atleast have a point of view that's mine rather than borrowed. 

The good part is that It is definitely a pretty decent attempt especially in the visual effects department. It is not comparable to the avatars of the world, but definitely is 'coming of age' for bollywood atleast in VFX part. When comparing with hollywood mainstream sci fi, you need to keep in mind that Avatar spend $250 million and Ra.One has spent less than 10% of the same and for that price, its definitely value for money. Though i do hope that SRK would have had a collaboration in hollywood for this project and had made a bigger hollywood movie rather than making it an 'Indian' movie. 

All of us are bashing it coz of its pathetic direction, SRK's over the top antics and boring narration, but may be we are making a very wrong assumption. May be the movie is ONLY about special effects, so that the VFX division of Red Chillies Entertainment, gets more business tomorrow. To ensure that every sci fi/action flick being planned in India, gives it business to them in the future given their quality of work in Ra.One. May be SRK didn't want to spend time/money/resources in making a work of art, but only show VFX prowess at this division. To me that's a successful attempt, in that case. 

Arjun Rampal is one of the meanest villains you would have seen in this decade in bollywood and absolutely rocks whenever he is on screen. Songs are catchy. (As already mentioned) Special Effects are definitely a plus given bollywood standards. Action and the overall production feel is at par with hollywood.

Now coming to the point, you all must be waiting for. The Bashing. The biggest problem with the movie is SRK himself. He just cannot get over his larger than life superstar image or get out of his Rahul/Raj comfort zone or even when he tries he just has his limitations as an actor, So even when he tries hard, it appears he is hamming. It seems as if he is always playing himself in every damn movie rather than being the 'character' and Ra.One is no different. Every scene he bends his knee, stretches his arm and you are like ''shit ya! not again, kya bakwaas hai'. You get irritated and the scene loses its relevance so you don't really bother about the movie. 

I heard SRK mentioning in an Interview, that he wanted to prove to hollywood that bollywood also is no less in terms of quality of movies and he wants bollywood to command some respect even on International front. I am afraid, that this does exactly the opposite for bollywood, I am sure most of you would already be aware of the numerous references to hollywood flicks. The Villain moves from a copy of Neo in Matrix to Darth Vader from Star Wars. Sticks to Pole like Spiderman, Saves like Batman, Enters and has a H.A.R.T like Iron man and so on and so forth. I'm sure hollywood biggies would be laughing their asses off, while watching these copy cat sequences. So What could have been a brave attempt suddenly looks like a cheap rip-off. Also, there is too much of emotional rona dhona, Mythological references, A robot developing the emotional connect and falling in love BS, which almost irritates you during the kick ass action sequences.

Overall: A Good Attempt gone bad due to overdose of SRK-ism and trying too hard to copy hollywood. But watchable for its coming of age (for Bollywood) Special Effects and Arjun Rampal's Darth Vader'ish villain act.

Feel-O-Meter: 5/10

Saheb, Biwi aur Gangster: Gareebon ki Omkara

First things first, Its not a bad movie, but it didn't do much for me atleast. It has its twists and turns but is predictable through most of its length. Dialogues are very good, Direction is okay okay, but not great acting, pathetic music+ background score, kinda slow narration made me not 'love it'. Infact, i was quite irritated with the resemblance to omkara, its like omkara's affordable remake.  Its a decent watch if you have spare time. But Nothing pathbreaking, Nothing new but not bad as well.

SBG revolves around an ex-nawab saheb (Jimmy) who has no money anymore and has to resort to petty government tender politics and killings. His wife (Mahie) is crazy (Though i'm not sure why. Whether its because of her husband has a mistress or her ex-lover was murdered earlier ! ) and survives through sudden bouts of outbursts full of hamming for no apparent reason. A Pseudo Gangster (Randeep) is sent by Saheb's enemy to give them his news so that he can be murdered. But he falls in love with the Biwi and has an affair with her. Some twists and turns later, The mistress is killed and saheb comes back to the biwi. Biwi is now suddenly alright and the gangster wants to kill the husband. Then comes the climax, two-three gunshots and Suddenly, the movie ends !!!

Let's talk about the good first. The Dialogues are amazing and the director also tries his hard to give that UP-ish look and feel to the setting. The actors are just about surviving their parts. The twists and turns are interesting and you seem to get a feeling that the movie is going somewhere in an interesting territory.

But that's where the goods end, You keep feeling something interesting would happen but doesn't. Repeat after Repeat of sex scene between the mistress and the saheb, biwi and the gangster. Since the actors fail to portray that passion onscreen, the sudden change of mind of biwi or the gangster's actually falling in love with the biwi is abrupt and you are like what!! really?? There are many 'WTF moments' especially when you realize that the enemy is not able to kill a single saheb with a body guard. So he had to rely on some outsider to provide him information !! Actors try too hard to look and act like pro-theater artists but Saheb is no omkara and Gangster is no Kesu Firangi. Songs are soooo bad that you can't tolerate even a single song for more than 10 seconds.

Overall, An Okay Okay Effort, suffers majorly from not great anything in the movie. Everywhere, its either average or below average. Can watch if you have nothing else to do this weekend.

Feel-O-Meter: 4/10

PS: I haven't seen the original Saheb, Biwi aur Ghulam so might have missed out something important. But still don't get it why some people were so gung-ho about it. Counter views welcomed

Mujhse Fraandship Karoge: Accept the Request

MFK is one of the most pleasant surprise that i've got amongst the movies released this year. I expected this movie to be one of those 'trying too hard to encash the youth appeal through facebook and trying too hard to be cool' kinda movies. But it is nothing close to that. Yes, Facebook provides the setting of the storyline but it doesn't seem forced. There is hardly anything that i didn't like the movie. It is definitely not cult/masterpiece material, but doesn't bore you throughout the length of the movie. It offers a light bubblegum romance packed with a youthful appeal, hummable music, good performances, fresh actors and not trying to be too preachy. Overall, a definite recommendation. Go and watch with your friends.

MFK is based in the facebook age in a college, where (predictably) the lead couple do not like each other in the beginning. They chat with each other online but as somebody else. They like the one they chat with but hate each other in real life. As expected in the end they realize they are actually in love with each other and live happily ever after types. Nothing new to offer on the plot front? Yes. But  the difference is in the 'treatment'. It has the same 'Wake up side' type youthful appeal, which doesn't let you get bored though the plot is as predictable as it could be.

As i said already, its not supposed to be a cult classic or a masterpiece material. What it offers is a very fresh way in which the the story has been told. The movie doesn't have breathtaking performances, amazing oneliners or path breaking narration, but it still connects with the audience, especially if you are under 30 and there is nothing which seems forceful.

No force feed of emotions, no sudden 'oh my god, poor guy/girl' moments, no preaching, no zabardasti ka rona dhona, no mushy mushy over the top romance, no double meaning dialogues. There are hardly any negatives that i could find overall. Both the lead actors do their bit with elan and it seems that you are actually one of their class mates and are living the movie. I'm sure they have a bright future ahead, only if some producers may have the balls to cast them in bigger movies/roles.

Music is refreshing, Songs are hummable, Direction crisp, Narration quick, Hardly any boring moments to allow you to go and grab a popcorn tub and coke. The best part is that the director does not lose any time in establishing characters, he just does everything quick and makes the overall pace of the movie pretty fast. The movie wraps up in under 2 hours and you don't walk out with a heavy head.

Overall: Nothing pathbreaking, but a light movie full of youthfulness and fresh appeal. A definite recommendation to watch with friends.

Feel-O-Meter: 8/10 (Yes, its EIGHT on TEN) ;)

Real Steel: Perfect Hollywood Masala

Imagine Wall-E's innocence, Rocky's will and courage, Transformers' Robots and Coolness, Pursuit of Happyness' Father Son Chemistry . Combine all this and you get Real Steel. Trust me, Without any exaggeration, Real Steel is this year's most promising masala flick. It has everything one could ask for. Awesome Background Score, Kick Ass Action Sequences, Love, Emotions, Coolness quotient, Sci-Fi, Cuteness everthing a masala hollywood movie could have. There was hardly anything you could complain about. Just forget everything that's going on in your life, Take the Kids along and immerse yourself in a roller coaster ride for 2 hours. Must Watch for purists and masala lovers alike.

Real Steel is set in not so distant future, where Robot Boxing is a popular sport. Hugh Jackman, an ex-boxer himself is a struggling promoter who one fine day finds out that his ex-wife is dead and he has a son. He has to keep the son with him for a month in exchange of 100 Gs. The kid is smarter than dad and they find an old Boxing robot and they start winning one fight after another which brings them closer. Well, the story is just a background, the soul of the movie actually lies in the adrenaline pumping-kick ass robot boxing matches.

Hugh jackman does well, but the son (Dakota Goyo) steals the cake. He is my pick of the lot as far as the performances go, though the role was more suited for a 15 something teenager rather than an 11 year old kid. In movies like this, it hardly matters. The only thing that matters is that the fighting sequences should pack a punch and in this case, they surely do. The sound track is full of Hip Hop thump and the Eminem Raps, and adds to the overall narrative and takes the boxing matches a notch higher. The cinematography is neat and the robots almost look absolutely mechanical and real like rather than computer generated. The direction and pace is fast and there are hardly any moments where you feel bored. 

Though there is some more than required dose of father-son relationship etc, but i guess you can't simply have robot boxing through out the length of the movie without having a 'story' in the middle or atleast in the background. Though you wait for the next fight but don't feel bored in between as well.

Overall: A Kick Ass Action-SciFi-Sports flick which sends your adrenaline up a few levels and leaves you wanting for more. Must Watch with friends or Kids. If you are a transformers' fan, I'm sure you'll love it more. 

Feel-O-Meter: 8/10

Love, Break ups, Zindagi: Bore, Headache and Death

Any Rom-Com's success is largely based upon two essential factors:1. The Awww, Funny, Cute, Lovey-Dovey 'moments' and 2. The Chemistry between the lead pair. LBZ fails on both and immensly. The movie is one of the most boring movies i have seen in a long time. Being more than 2 and a half hour long, its painfully looong. There are hardly any moments which excite you and you are left looking at your watch more often than the screen. The performances are one of the worst i have EVER seen.  The dialogues are so freakin cheesy that you feel like being trapped in a rat trap ! No sense of direction, as to what is happening, why it is happening and where is the movie going. The only saving grace is Salim Suleiman's Music. Absolute waste of time and resources. Download the songs and enjoy in your car. DO NOT WATCH even if paid a thousand bucks, rather send tickets to your frenemy :P

Let me clarify, I knew there is Zayed Khan and Dia Mirza in the movie and DESPITE that i went for the movie coz i thought of giving the poor guys a chance. A lot of people will not watch a movie because of the actors and last year Tum Mile (Emraan and Soha) was a pleasant surprise. I thought the same about LBZ after watching promos. They had nice songs playing in the background, some witty one liners by Cyrus sahukar, Dia Mirza looked kinda cute and i thought of giving it a shot. And Yes, It was a mistake. A BIIIG mistake. 

Though i am sure after reading through the first two paragraphs, you anyways won't watch the movie but still for formality's sake, the movie is about Zayed and Dia, who are dating different people. They meet at a wedding and realize they are not with the 'one'. The wedding is over, they separate, they meet again, realize their love and a sacrifice by the 'nice' boyfriend later, they live happily ever after. Anyways, there are tangential storylines as well, but i am sure you are not bothered. 

There is absolutely nothing in the movie that you take back. After an hour you are like what the f**k ya, Interval kyun nahi hua ab tak? There is a wedding happening in the movie, and there are bloody 10 people (max and including the extras) who are attending it. They are the only ones in every single bloody frame. Cheapness and Bhikhaaripanti ki haddh kar di. Cost cutting is one thing and bloody just not taking any people in the movie is other. Almost half the movie is shot in one bunglow with almost no cast. 

The Script is cliched and dialogues irritating. I mean, suddenly the hero says something to the girl and you reach for your shoe to be thrown at the screen. Trust me, a couple of times i actually went for my hair literally !! One of the most boring movies i have seen EVERR. The only saving grace for the movie is the music which is quite pleasing actually and though you might not want to purchase the CD, you may still download the songs online and listen for a week or so. Cyrus Sahukar tries his best to keep the movie's head above the water level and though gives a decent performance and IS funny in his sequences, but a oneliner every half hour ain't good enough.

Overall: An absolute No-No. Do not watch even if you get free passes. Send tickets to your frenemy and Enjoy watching HBO instead. 

Feel-O-Meter: 2/10 (1.5 for the Music, 0.5 for Cyrus, Zero for the movie)

Fact of Life: A Miss Walks the Isle and becomes a Missile.

If you actually think of it, Ram was among the first HEAD-hunters of the world ! #Happy Dussehra

Kuch Na Kar paane ki Frustration aur Bahot Kuch Karna Chahne ki Motivation ka ajab sa suroor chaa raha hai..
Growth De-Growth ka pata nahi, but career gaddhe mein zaroor ja raha hai..

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