Breaking news: This Sports day, Government declares ' Blame Game' to be our new national sport

Isabella, Katrina and now Irene. Dear women, I hope you get the drift

Dear Nokia, just because you launch symbian anna doesn't mean people will support you. Sincerely, janlokpa

Sabhi Bhaiyon se Nivedan hai ke Iss friendship day zara dhyaan rakhe. Aapko Diya gaya friendship band rakhi bhi ho sakti hai

Dear GDR, So Whats next after Shantaram? Sakkubai?

Jheel si thi unki Aankhein.. Gaal the surkh Laal.. Gulaab si the hoth aur daanto mein thi aisi chamak.. 
Ke maano upar waale ne bahot fursat mein bhara ho unke toothpaste mein namak

What did harry tell lord voldemort?
Sudhar ja nahi toh teri wand maar lunga

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara: No Regrets/No Complaints

As you might have guessed already, ZMMD is the usual Lets take a final roadtrip, Friends coming together, Lets Live for Today, Lets have No Regrets kinda Preachy Movie and it indeed IS. But to be honest, its much more as well. Though more than 2 and a half hour long, there are hardly any scenes which bore you or provide you an opportunity to go and grab pop corns. The Direction is grippy, The Pace swift, The Performances Good, The Screenplay interesting. Almost everything is just about the way it should be, nothing more nothing less, just about perfect. Though there are those preachy moments but they don't screen aloud rather make the point very subtley. There is hardly anything which i had a major complain about (May be Music), and an overall a very satisfying experience. Strongly Recommended.


OK, Let me be very honest with you. I was very excited initially when i heard that Abhay Deol, Hrithik and Farhan (and ofcourse the bonus being katreena) are going to be together for a movie. But then i heard about the plot, that its the last friendly roadtrip and make most of today kinda movie. The excitement was lessened considerably. Then i saw the ads with reinforcing the 'Dar ke Aage Jeet hai' and that was the ultimate put off and was not even planning to watch it. But then i was in for a pleasant surprise, or may be its because of my low expectations that i liked the movie so much. I thought it will be 'My Abs are tighter Than yours' or 'My Cleavage is deeper than yours' kinda stuff, and it IS but thats not the only thing there is to it. It IS an ad for Spain Tourism Department but even then you kinda like the overall setting. It IS a masala bollywood flick but still has its soul intact and does not compromise on the basics of the story.

The movie is about 3 long lost friends who go on a road trip together to re live their bachelorhood and face their fears. In the process they meet long lost relatives, new crushes and (may be) future life partners but above all, they get in touch with their real self. They realize what they are made of and what 'life' is and what it should be. Sounds Preachy right? As i said, it IS but not the arty preachy but entertaining preachy. The trip, the Adventure Sports and the 'fears' just serve as a background and the real story lies in the lead characters' (re)discovery of themselves.

Everybody plays the part almost perfectly though there could have been some other choice than Kalki I feel. and Farhan Akhtar ROCKS. I mean half the credit goes to him to keep the movie not sounding like a lecture rather than an entertaining thought. He is genuinely funny when he is supposed to and is my pick of the actors from the ensemble. Absolutely Brilliant. Also, Though Zoya has made it mainstream but doesn't let it drift away in the mindless genre. There is humour but it is through the chemistry and small situations/moments rather than jokes or gags. There is romance but no kood jaunga faand jaunga kinda romance but takes a very practical look at it. There is friendship but not Ye dost hum nahi todenge kinda friendship burt rather a very real friendhsip where friends fight, pull each others' legs, play pranks and then make up as well. Its realistic but without the heaviness around it. Full marks to her to keep the movie fresh, quick paced, tolerably preachy and keeping the emotions intact.

Overall: Not Frantically paced , Tolerably Preachy with everything just about perfect. Strong Recommendation this week.

Feel-O-Meter: 8/10

Delhi Belly: 'Shit' Happened, Literally..

I understand that the tagline for the movie was 'Shit Happens' but Dear Director, you weren't supposed to take it soo literally and pour 'Toilet/Potty Humour' on the screen (Literally too). Delhi Belly promises to be a laugh riot but doesn't deliver. May be the hype created surrounding it was too much for me to handle and i expected some crazy Andaz Apna Apna-Hera Pheri kinda stuff. But that's hardly the case. Its just a regular Guy Ritchie rip off but isn't half as funny or confusing as the genre demands. At best, it has 4-5 ammazingly funny sequences and at worst nothing more than some potty humour. Is watchable with a friends (obviously NOT family) one time, but is hardly worth all the hype its getting.


Let me make it very clear that i am NOT saying that its a pathetic/bad movie. It sure has its funny moments which will throw you out of your chair but they are far and few. A couple of scenes are VERY funny but since there is no consistency in the humour. The effect just fizzles out. On One hand we have a promise that its a multiplex comedy for the 'intelligent humour' lovers and almost 40% jokes are trying to be funny coz somebody trying to go to the loo or is abusing. I don't understand why just the use of words like 'g***d, Ch**t or L**u may tickle your funny bone. May be, its just another B-Grade Dada Kondke set in Delhi with 'educated' protagonists in place of Gaonwalas. But the feel remains the same.

Loose Motions are funny but not after you enter teenage or start understanding humour. Another problem that i had was that it never gave enough time or space to any of the characters. In order to make a slick and fast paced movie, the director does not let any character develop or some abrupt sequence comes (which might or might not be funny) which doesn't fit in the scheme of things. Its just a collection of gags which seem funny when you think of it as a gag but don't fit in the overall length/plot of the movie. Moreover, there arent enough twists and turns to confuse you enough like a Guy Ritchie or even Priyadarshan.

As far as the performances are concerned, Vir Das is THE man. He is the pick of the cast. Whenever there is something to do with him in any sequence, the pace just picks up. The guy just simply rocks and even in the scenes where there are no funny 'lines' per se, the guy just makes you laugh like shit. *Respect*. Imran Khan is at his pathetic worst, there is no definition to his character. He starts as a serious journalist and ends up a confused lover. The transition also seems abrupt coz there is hardly any chemistry with either of the ladies. Kunal Roy Kapoor seems funny in the initial sequences but later the overdose of loose motions and toilet humour just leaves you irritated than amused. Poorna Jagannathan is HAWT. Shenaz is (as usual) Cute. Vijay Raaz is as good as he is in any other roles.

Overall: A Decent One Time Watch but DEFINITELY not worth the hype. If you expect a Comedy Classic, Don't Go. Spend some time drinking with some funny friends from college Rather.

Feel-O-Meter: 5/10

Transformers 3 (Dark of the Moon): Bigger Not Better 6/10

Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Megatron, Cybertron, Ironhide. If you know any of these words. You anyways are going to watch this move, if you are not. Then Nevermind, its not for you. T3 Dark of the Moon, is the 3rd instalment in the hasbro toys' inspired Movies. The movie is just like the other 2 movies, with no sense in the plot or emotions in the narrative and rides heavily on the 'cool' factor. The Scale, The Sequences, The Mayhem, The Background Score, Everything is bigger and better. Though its too long (almost 2.5 hours) and the first half defines boredom, the second half picks up and the last 40 minutes are typical transformers' blink and you miss action and rides heavily on the same. Watchable if you are the series fan or are in love with the Optimus Prime's voice or Bumblebee's cuteness.


The plot revolves around the same age old 'Human Race is about to get extinct' and Megatrons will wipe humans off the face off the earth. Add to it a new cool autobot called sentinel prime. A new method of wiping human race (after absorbing the sun itself through a machine in revenge of the fallen). A new hottie after Megan Fox was fired. A Much Much larger scale. Bigger-Better Graphics. Crazy Imagination (Though given the sci fi growth in hollywood, nothing seems surprising now). Mix all that with some humour here and there and you get T3.

Basically, as you would already be aware, you are not supposed to get into the plot part anyways. You are just supposed to absorb the 'cool quotient'. You are only supposed to widen your eyes and ears to just absorb what's happening apart from 'understanding' as well. Just try to keep your mouth closed and not open in awe when you see Washington DC and Chicago going down after a Megatron Attack. The Autobots are the same but the megatrons are meaner and especially the new one called 'shockwave'. The sequences where it is tearing a glass building apart are just mind blowing. Your blink rate would most likely reduce to one-third at the time this particular sequence is on.

A Special Mention about the last 40 minutes is required here. The rate at which the action is taking place is just too much to handle. And if you are watching the movie in 3D, the dark glasses may take half the fun away and leave some dizziness, when you are struggling to understand whats happening or trying to differentiate between optimus and sentinel or megatron and ironhide. The movie just takes some steroids or something, suddenly the pace increases manifold, it appears as if michael bay just realized, 'oh shit, i need to wind all up in 40 minutes and i have like 500 million dollars still left to spend'. And the Hell breaks loose.

The first is plain simple boring. You are simply fed up with the way the whole plot drags. At more than an hour long, the first half seems like a different movie altogether. You are just bored of the boredom with nothing happening. The chemistry between Rosie Hunting and Shia is forced. Nothing is happening anywhere. The movie just keeps on dragging with no action anywhere. No humour. No 'Hotness'. Absolutely nothing and you are tempted to leave the movie in the middle and go for a walk in the park or something, but going by the last 2 instalments, you are aware that all the 'cool stuff' is expected in the second half only and it delivers.

Overall: A Definite Watch if you are a Series Fan. Especially for the last half hour. It might not be better than the first two but is definitely bigger. Else give it a miss.

Feel-O-Meter: 6/10

PS: DO NOT watch it in 3D(Yes it is REAL 3D and still takes the fun away) Its too dark with those glasses on and for more than 30% of the movie i was ok with the blurred vision after taking the glasses off coz the colours made up for the blur mostly

Mostly, a Woman is not BEHIND a successful man, but AFTER him 

Dear Friend ‎'U' are the difference between a Champ and Champu

Q. Why no one believes emraan hashmi?
A. coz he only offers Lip Service

Dear boss, just because today is world music day. It doesn't mean it gives you a right to bajao ours. Sincerely frustrated employees 

Teacher : Give me an example of a mechanism which converts solids into gas.
Student: Sir, Digestive System

Ready : 'Ready' for some Rubbish?

So? Are you Ready? Ready for some ridiculousness? Ready for absolute nonsense? Ready for bad acting? Ready for Worse writing? Ready for an absolutely trash movie? Ready for the kind of movie which is not funny in any way? Then Please go ahead and watch ready this weekend. Need i say more? Overall 1/10

As its said, you can make some people fool all the time, all people fool some time but not make a fool of all the people all the time. Ready proves the same point. You can deliver a dabangg once where people treat trash as style and make it a huge hit, but you can't do it again and again. Let me make it very clear (again), that i am not one of those pseudo intellectuals who only like 'International' cinema and do not appreciate 'Bollywood Masala'. I absolutely love the 'Brainless Comedies' (as this genre is descrined as). But I am against 'Brainless' movies which do not make you laugh but rather irritate you in every sequence. This is one of those.

I fail to understand, why after spending such a big amount of money on stars, songs & dance sequences, marketing etc the industry can't spend a little amount ( and some more time) on writing a movie. How can this kind of a shit be served after spending some 50 crores (if not more) on a movie? I mean, you give a 5 year old a script to write for a play and i am sure he/she could come up with something better.

The movie is just plain irritating and leaves you with a headache. It keeps yo uwondering throughout the length of the movie as to what's the point of making a movie like this. If you want to make people laugh then PLEASE make people laugh by writing a good script. Don't write crap and expect people to laugh because salman khan is delivering that crap. There is absolutely nothing in the movie that i liked. Salman is at his hamming best with desperate measures taken to make him feel stylish in any frame to ensure that people follow him just like Dabangg.

I would not bother to describe the plot here, since most would argue that in 'brainless' genre, it doesn't matter and same is the case here as well. As far as performances are concerned, EVERY actor is worse than the other. There is absolutely nobody (hmmm.. may be paresh rawal) who delivers the goods, but that's not because they perform bad, but just the fact that there is nothing they could do about the movie. With all the stupidities, With all the slapsticks, With all the (supposedly) Style Quotient, there is absolutely nothing for the actor to do. They could simply deliver the crap given to them and just hope that Salman could generate some buzz to ensure people come and watch the movie once.

The only saving grace according to me was the song Dhinka Chika (which is why the movie got that 1 rating out of 10). The song is absolutely crazy and there would be hardly anybody who can't get his heart/foot tapping for the song. It kinda reminds you of the Madrasi cinema and its craziness (in a good way). Its full Apadi Pode feel, takes the song to a different level altogether and is the only reason you might want to watch the movie to be honest.

Overall: Absolutely Rubbish. Don't watch it even if you have free tickets.

Feel-O-Meter: 1/10

PS: 1. I had free tickets to the movie, else i wouldn't have gone anyways. 2. I did not leave the hall only because i had to meet somebody after the movie. Else it would have been my (as far as i can remember) second movie walk out.

This No Tobacco day, Dont smoke, Just Drink.. Cheers

This No Tobacco day, Dont smoke, Just Drink.. Cheers

Hangover 2: 'Absolute'-ly funny but stuck in Vegas

Hangover 2 suffers from the classic problem with sequels, they are stuck with the originals. It is an 'absolute'-ly funny movie but the problem is that comparisons with the original are bound to be made and with every sequence, you are like. Naah the original was better. But not to say that you won't enjoy it, Its essentially the same movie, just replace vegas with Bangkok and everything else remains the same. You can even point, which 'new' characters are the 'old' ones equivalent etc. Don't go with the last movie's 'hangover' and you will enjoy it. Slowish first half but picks up crazily in the second and ends on a high. Recommended to watch 7/10


The plot now shifts to Bangkok and everything else remains the same. In H1, Doug was getting married, in H2 Stu is. In H1 Doug gets misplaced, in H2 Stu's Bro in law Teddy. Rest all too remains the same. Stu falls again for a hooker (with a twist). Replace the baby from H1 with a Monkey. Like H1 Gangsters keep getting introduced. They (again) think that the lost person is kidnapped and find out that he isn't. Ehow they find Teddy is similar to H1. Basically, Every single thing remains the same with a different cast.

Although, the plot remains the same and even the gags and subplots. The story still has some really funny moments. The first half seems like H1 and at the time of interval you feel kinda cheated. You are like 'what the fuck ya, its the same movie only' but wouldn't leave coz you have this 'Chalo yaar next half mein its gonna be better' and it does. The second half comes up with some new crazy sequences and gags. Especially when Chow returns, he just picks up the movie and takes it to a different level altogether

Performance wise, (as expected) Allan (Zach Galifianakis) is the coolest. He has such a funny personality that even when he is doing nothing, he is funny. Ken Jeong as Mr Chow (as already updated) is the pick of the cast after Zach. There is something about him that lights up the screen and he is just amazingly funny even though he only comes for like 10 minutes and two sequences. Takes the cake. Bradley Cooper looks hot, Ed Helms looks the same poor guy. All rest are just about Okay.

Overall, In absolute terms a pretty funny movie, but suffers from the 'hangover' of the first movie's success and replicates just about everything. Still is quite funny. Go watch it with your friends

Feel-O-Meter: 6/10

Kung Fu Pnda 2 : Return of the Awesomenesss

If you have seen KFP, then i am sure most of you would have already seen KFP2 yesterday. The movie is as 'awesome' as the first one. You get the typical KFP oneliners, panda cutenss, goofiness etc etc. KFP has always been a movie which rides on its witty oneliners and the most unprobable hero that you could imagine. If you haven't seen KFP1 then.. ahem.. hmmm.. I guess you should watch it first, that would set the pace for it. All the characters are cool but THE panda is awesommmmme.. The movie just gets a bit slow for a few minutes in the middle, when it starts to get preachy and all and Po starts to get 'visions' of his Mom and Dad, but then it picks up like skadooosh and then doesn't stop. Everything's cool. Just go and watch 8/10









This version is a story of another villain (who happens to be a white peacock) who gets hold of a cannon and starts destroying a town and then, Kung Fu. Po and the Furious Five have to stop them. Po though now believes that he is the dragon warrior but he is still the same physically. The movie also deals with Po's past and 'realization' (though tough to believe!) that he is not his father's (a duck who raised him) son.Then the movie takes a preachy turn of finding 'inner peace' and not worrying about the past and think about the present. Then a bollywood turn, where the villain had killed the parents of Po. And in the end, obviously Po along with the furious five beats the crap out of the villain and all live happily ever after (till the 3rd instalment releases)







As already established, the movie's awesomeness cannot be described in the review, since it rests heavily (very heavily) on situations and amazingly funny lines. The soul of the movie lies in the contradiction of a 'fat panda' being a hero. Just the idea of the panda fighting the bad guys is like, oh oh, is HE gonna fight 'em. Apart from the dialogues, the movie also scores on its vividness of color palette and neat animation. The actions is so quick and the pace of the movie so quick that you hardly notice other things and immerse yourself in the narration. Even though i saw it in 3D, woul,d recommend you to watch the 3D version to enjoy the colors more.





Also, i really really liked Po and the short story of his being fathered by the duck, Those scenes are sooooo awwww and cute that you are like, oh oh, why am i awwwwing so much but you can't seem to help. The young po is sooooo fuckin cute and he keeps eating and eating and eating.. I think those 5 minutes of the movie took the cake and even if you don't like the action bit, you are thoroughly going to enjoy it.





Overall: Do not forget to take your neice/nephew/son/daughter to the movie. In one word, its Awesommmmmmme





Feel-O-Meter: 8/10