Desi Boyz: Movie Banayi Jhakk Maar Ke 2/10

First things first, I was not planning to watch it but was bored at the weekend and to be honest, the songs were pretty catchy. I reached the hall 10 minutes late and was bored to death in the next 10. Spent the next hour and a half in hope that it would become 'less worse' but it didn't. The movie offers nothing more than the usual NRI movies with bright colors in the background, nice fashionable clothes, a song or two to hum along and... That's about it I guess. One Line Story. Pathetic Script. Stupid and Corny Dialogues. No sense of Direction or performance. Overall, a BAD BAD film. Don't watch it. Download the songs and enjoy in your car Instead. 2/10

The movie is about 2 friends who don't have or lost their job due to recession. They take up a job as male escorts. The girlfriend of one finds out and 30% of the movie is spent in his stupid antics to woo her back. Another 30% is wasted in the other friend's 'Let's Go Back to College and complete my education' pursuit. Yes, That's it. Nothing else. No twists or turns. Nothing Interesting. Just a flat story.

To be honest, i am too bored to even criticize the movie. Its actually a futile exercise to even write a review about a movie that bad. I mean, if the movie is actually THIS bad then how do you even motivate yourself to write about it. Anyways, Both John and Akshay ham their way through the movie and they suck at it too. Dear Akshay, I can't seem to remember a movie after Hera Pheri where you were funny, So let's just stick to Action Please. And John, Why can't you just stick to being a model or a WWE Wrestler perhaps. Chitrangada tries to look hot but she doesn't come across as the 'hot' types. She is the pretty one. Deepika, Let's just not talk about her. She is just the same as in all other movies. Unnoticeable . Anupam Kher, Well yes, he is there and i am sure he still has no idea what he was doing in the movie.

The Script seems stretched even for its 2 hour length. Can you imagine, the director even lifted a sequence from 'Funny Advertisements' videos on youtube!! I mean seriously? Get a Life Dude.. Since there was nothing to offer in the script or in narration, the director infact introduces 2-3 characters for no apparent reason just to stretch the movie to its minimum bollywood length of 2 hours. But i guess he needs to understand that KJO-NRI genre is not only about  Introducting Bright Red/Yellow/Blue/Greens in the backgrounds or in the lead actor/actress' dresses. Oh wait, may be it is. Nevermind. 

On the Good front, well a couple of songs are hummable/danceable. And... Well, that's about it i guess. There is nothing else that i remember i guess. Oh yes, The End Credits were entertaining too. But to reach there you will have to go through the 2 hour ordeal. So not worth it i tell you.

Overall: A BAD movie. Period. Don't Watch it

Feel-O-Meter: 2/10

2020: Tom cruise casts Bobby Darling as the lead actor in the sixth mission impossible movie. Calls it. AM I 6 ??

Rockstar: Misses more than a few notes

Rockstar is one those movies, which had the potential to change the course of cinema in 'bollywood', but didn't. One of the most prominent storyline, excellent director, brilliant music, ace cinematographper, pretty decent performances but the movie just seems to be incomplete. Every chapter seems incomplete. The whole movie seems to pass in the 'ab kuch hoga' hope, but the chapter gets over and you are like. Bass, ho gya. Itna eech? And you move onto the next chapter and the same thing is repeated. Though not to mention, it is definitely not a bad movie. Pretty Gripping throughout its 2 hour 40 minute length. You do get bored a couple of times, but then it comes on track pretty quickly. Good performance by Ranbir and 4-5 absolutely amazing songs make it a definite watch, but yes, if you are expecting a Dev D. You'll be disappointed. Watch it nonetheless.

Rockstar is the story of Janardan Jakhad (Jordan) who wants be a singer but is not able to, since he hasn't felt pain in life or love. So he wants that pain in the heart. He goes and gets his heart broken but doesn't work. He becomes friends with Heer (Nargis Fakhri). Then the usual, friends falling in love. The girl gets married. He wants to meer her again. They meet again. Ger separated again. Then Meet again. During, this milna bichadna Jordan becomes a rockstar. Now he has everything but nothing since Heer is not there. And the movie revolves around this theme till the end.

First, the goods. Ranbir delivers a pretty good performance. No Award winning material here, but he doesn't Not look the part. He absolutely feels like a rockstar in his avatar. Though his north indian jaat thing didn't work for me (may be coz I am from North Campus and can relate to these types and trust me Ranbir didn't come close) and hams in a few scenes, he absolutely rocked in the rockstar sequences especially when he is struggling with his dilemma. He does well in his limitations and you feel him playing the part pretty close to what it was supposed to be. Rahman's music (espeicially Kun Faaya Kun, Sadda Haq, Jo bhi Main) and Mohit Chauhan's vocals are a definite asset to the narrative. These songs typically make you ignore some of the silly hiccups in the scripts. You forget the problems here and there, and move on after one of these songs are played. Imtiaz does a pretty good job in the 'treatment' of the script especially when he uses the back and forth technique. He goes back to a scene and then explains what happened. Though it is kinda confusing because when the scene was supposed to take place, he just takes it forward and explains it later when he actually comes back. Though interesting way of telling a story but Too Experimental sometimes it gets and you are like 'Pehle hi dikha deta bhai'.

Now the bads. The Biggest problem i found with the movie was the incompleteness of the plots. Whenever a chapter is going on. You are like, 'Ab kuch hoga. Ab kuch hoga' and it doesn't happen. When it does, it happens so abruptly that you are like 'Arey aise kaise?' Every chapter does not seem to complete itself and the movie moves on to the next one. For eg. Janardan is attending Heer's wedding and suddenly he is back in delhi and the chapter ends. He is not 'heartbroken' and suddenly becomes attains this demi-god rockstar status. He is angry with the people at large but the movie does not provide sufficient reason or heightened hatred as a push towards the same. You are like, 'he was pretty alright in the last scene right? Then suddenly what happened?' There are too many 'Whys' in the audience's mind which can never be good. Every Chapter should end at a particular height and doesn't. You will understand once you watch it.

Second problem is Nargis Fakhri. She can't act to save her life and to be honest, i don't understand this rage about her hotness. To be honest, she is just like another kashmiri girl and i'm sure you'll find a million of such girls in colleges across the country. Nothing special either about her looks and especially about her acting. She makes Katrina Kaif look like Meena Kumari. Almost Irritating throughout the movie. Thirdly, though i mentioned 4-5 songs are amazing, but there are 4-5 other songs which have neither relevant to the narrative nor are any good to listen to. They seem to take up around 30 minutes of your time and had they not been there, Imtiaz could have ended the chapters smoothly.

Overall: A Decent One Time Watch But do not expect anything pathbreaking or coming of age bollywood stuff.

Feel-O-Meter: 5/10

The Adventures of Tintin: Don't Expect Magic

What do you expect when you get to know that Steven Spielberg is directing a movie produced by Peter Jackson based on one of the best selling and most popular comic book character of all times? A Lot Right? That's exactly where the movie suffers. Too many expectations and too little to offer. Though in any other case, the movie could have been a pretty good watch. But when you hear names like SS and PJ, you don't want a pretty good watch. You want a kick ass movie and this is not one of those. Superb Motion Capture Animation does not compensate for a pretty straightforward plot and lack of excitement in the storyline. A One Time watch for the tintin fans especially if you are under 10, Avoid otherwise.

Tintin, as most would be aware is one of the largest selling comic book series in the world. This movie is a combination of three comic books called The Crab with the Golden Claws, The Secret of the Unicorn and Red Rackham's Treasure. TinTin buys a replica of a ship drowned three hundred years ago by some pirates. But someone wants to take it from him. The ship replica is actually one of the three identical ships which hold clues to a treasure sunk in the ocean. The movie has a few subplots but the main storyline revolves around tintin's adventures in search of the hidden treasure with his dog snowy and captain haddock.

Let me clarify one thing here, that i have neither read any of the comic books nor am i fan of the series. So i am only giving my views on the basis of the movie itself and has nothing to do with the franchise itself. So, actual tintin fans might notice a few details, which i was not in any position to comprehend. Now Coming to the good part first. The Animation in the movie (actually called motion capture, where real life actors shoot a sequence and then animated characters are superimposed later on ) is one of the best i have ever seen. Its almost as if you are watching a live action movie rather than animation. The characters are life like and expressions are just about perfect. There are a couple of sequences which provide that edge of the seat excitement and have that 'OMG appeal'. Captain Haddock and the Thomson twins are quite funny in parts.

But, that's where the good part ends. The movie does not live up to the excitement created by a tintin adventure. Its comes across as just another Pirates of the carribean with motion capture animation. There are a couple of scenes which are exciting but are far and few. You keep waiting for something adventurous to happen, it takes place for 30 seconds and you again wait for around 20 minutes for the next 30 seconds. The movie does not provide a roller coaster ride, you expect out of an 'adventure' movie. There are hardly any suspense or thriller points scored. The not great 3D effects don't do any good to the movie as well. It just doesn't seem like its directed by SS. Though SS has done its job, its the script and lack of overall excitement that leaves the audience yawning for a pretty reasonable length of the movie.

Overall: Watchable, if you are a tintin fan or are under 10 years of age. But doesn't offer any OMG factor especially when you hear names by SS and PJ

Feel-O-Meter: 5/10

In Time: Brilliant Concept, Ordinary Execution

In time is the new sci-fi flick with an absolutely kick ass storyline and has the 'cool' factor but suffers on the direction, screenplay and performances front. As soon as the movie begins, you are absorbed in the plot and start feeling the OMG-ishness of the plot. You are like damn, what a neat concept, why didnt anybody else think about it before. What happened to the nolans, jacksons or the spielbergs of the world. Then the story moves, you are kinda feeling OK, so what's next? That's where the problems start, The concept seems too big for the movie itself. The story hardly moves, the performances (especially JT) are pretty slick but nothing inspiring or out of box. The Screenplay doesn't quite offer the ups and downs the plot deserves. The movie seems quite flat for its own expectations. You seem to keep promising yourself, that NOW something's gonna happen, NOW there would a turn of events, but sadly nothing happens. Overall, the movie is pretty decent for a one time watch because of the uniqueness of the plot and the cool factor but then the treatment plays the spoilsport and you seem to be wanting for more. Wish a bigger director had taken up the project and given it the scale it deserved.

The plot revolves around a one line concept, "Time is Money". In the near future, time IS money, literally. You stop ageing after 25 years, and can only live for an year. You have a stop watch on your wrist, which shows the time left for you. The Time also works like a currency. So you have to buy time to keep alive,and pay for the things you consume be it a bus ride or a coffee through time. So, if you are poor, you are bound to die sooner than your time, coz you have to spend the time you have to spend the time left in your life ! The Rich can live forever, coz they have more time and they keep earning more time. Justin is one the poor, who meets a 'fed up with his life' person with a hundred years with him, gives him his hundred and commits a suicide. The Time Keepers (police) seem to think, JT killed the guy and are after him. JT meets a millionaire's daughter and the usual love story starts to move. Suddenly, JT becomes this evangelist, who wants to rob the rich and give the time to the poor.

The good part about the movie as already mentioned, is its plot. The whole idea of time being money is just too awesome. You are like, damn why didnt i think of the same. This is just plain brilliant. But, that's where the problems begin. The first half an hour raises your expectations pretty high. You start expecting a Matrix but which is not gonna happen. A single dimension storyline, unimaginitive direction, weak screenplay, no OMG moments, just about okay performance and hardly any edge of the seat excitement, makes the movie ending in disappointment. There were no kick ass action sequences or creative visual effects. Not to mention, that it is still a pretty decent one time watch.

Overall: Don't expect anything pathbreaking in terms of cinema but still a One Time Watch for its concept and the 'cool'ness.